It's the realisation Inigo never wants to have, and yet he can't stop it anymore. After already having felt crappy on the train, and then going into this mission and just running for days on nothing but fumes and sheer determination, it feels like he has completely drained himself at this point.
It all started this morning. First there was the realisation that something felt different from the few days before, like something was lifted off his shoulders - except instead of a burden being lifted, it was a boon. A presence that felt like it was there with him through the days he just tried to work his ass off and keep his emotions in check is now gone, leaving behind a hollow void that only makes the emotions more intense than they were before the presence helped him out.
And then there was the realisation that some of the distortions had changed, that one of them now lead to a hellscape not unlike the one he and his friends fled from back home. A world they had been determined to never let come to pass. Sure, Inigo tried to do the usual things. Inform everyone. Try to stay on top of it. Try to give advice, try to help out.
But the longer he lingers in that distortion, the harder it gets to not see Ylisse all around him. To not feel the same overwhelming sense of dread and despair. It's like the distortion in front of his eyes and his traumatic memories start to blend together more and more, until it's unbearable, until it feels like he can no longer breathe, until, until--
Until he flees the distortion. He sinks on his knees right outside it, unable to think of anything.
Instead Inigo just sinks to his knees. It feels like he's having a panic attack, even though he tries to suck in deep breaths. He feels so awful. About what could be happening back home, about their current existence on the train and its instability, about this mission and the way they're erasing people, about this distortion, so much like Ylisse.
Gasping for air, he feels hot tears starting to stream down his cheeks. He can't do this anymore. He's not strong enough to just keep pushing on, and--
And he doesn't want to be alone. He knows he can't call anyone, because he doesn't want anyone to see him like this when he's supposed to keep himself strong during this mission, but his heart longs for company, for the way his friends at least get close to comforting him, to soothing his heart.
He thinks of that moment a day or two ago, when he and Tidus walked side by side, and the other had grabbed his hand for a moment, so innately understanding of Inigo's frame of mind in that situation. The way Tidus understands him so easily, the way Tidus holds him..
.. he wants it. In this moment, where he can't do anything but cry and try to keep breathing, he just wants Tidus here with him.
poi 10 (during mission), cw: (near) panic attack
It's the realisation Inigo never wants to have, and yet he can't stop it anymore. After already having felt crappy on the train, and then going into this mission and just running for days on nothing but fumes and sheer determination, it feels like he has completely drained himself at this point.
It all started this morning. First there was the realisation that something felt different from the few days before, like something was lifted off his shoulders - except instead of a burden being lifted, it was a boon. A presence that felt like it was there with him through the days he just tried to work his ass off and keep his emotions in check is now gone, leaving behind a hollow void that only makes the emotions more intense than they were before the presence helped him out.
And then there was the realisation that some of the distortions had changed, that one of them now lead to a hellscape not unlike the one he and his friends fled from back home. A world they had been determined to never let come to pass. Sure, Inigo tried to do the usual things. Inform everyone. Try to stay on top of it. Try to give advice, try to help out.
But the longer he lingers in that distortion, the harder it gets to not see Ylisse all around him. To not feel the same overwhelming sense of dread and despair. It's like the distortion in front of his eyes and his traumatic memories start to blend together more and more, until it's unbearable, until it feels like he can no longer breathe, until, until--
Until he flees the distortion. He sinks on his knees right outside it, unable to think of anything.
Instead Inigo just sinks to his knees. It feels like he's having a panic attack, even though he tries to suck in deep breaths. He feels so awful. About what could be happening back home, about their current existence on the train and its instability, about this mission and the way they're erasing people, about this distortion, so much like Ylisse.
Gasping for air, he feels hot tears starting to stream down his cheeks. He can't do this anymore. He's not strong enough to just keep pushing on, and--
And he doesn't want to be alone. He knows he can't call anyone, because he doesn't want anyone to see him like this when he's supposed to keep himself strong during this mission, but his heart longs for company, for the way his friends at least get close to comforting him, to soothing his heart.
He thinks of that moment a day or two ago, when he and Tidus walked side by side, and the other had grabbed his hand for a moment, so innately understanding of Inigo's frame of mind in that situation. The way Tidus understands him so easily, the way Tidus holds him..
.. he wants it. In this moment, where he can't do anything but cry and try to keep breathing, he just wants Tidus here with him.