Because that wasn't the point! I think you're a great guy who has nothing to worry about, but like I said, huh?
[ But, fooolding his arms. ]
Maybe you don't appreciate my compliments well enough! How about that? Now I see it. When's the last time you got gooey about something nice I had to say about you?
[ like just a minute ago but that's not the point ]
[ Inigo looks like he's already about to reply to that first part. But then instead Tidus speaks on, and what he's saying is landing like a bomb. Inigo's jaw drops slightly. ]
Didn't I do so just now?! [ He's pretty sure he got all soft for a bit there, okay! Doesn't he get soft at Tidus all the time?! ] You're usually the one who tells me to not get all sappy on you! I would gladly be gooey all the time with you, you know!
[ DON'T EVEN DOUBT THAT FOR A MINUTE. He is ready. ]
So if I said I think you're a great guy who doesn't give himself the credit he deserves, needs to stand up taller and prouder of himself! What do you think about that?
His face is starting to get redder with every single word that comes out of Tidus's mouth. How is he supposed to deal with this, huh? Inigo already is unable to deal with praise coming from strangers, let alone people he's close to and whose opinion is therefore really important to him--
It feels like his cheeks are burning so hard that he has to move his hands up and slap them over said cheeks just to cover them. ]
W-Well, I..! [ It almost sounds like he's choking on his own words. ] I.. I just don't think I have much to be proud of! Especially compared to the people around me..
[ Just look at Tidus! Between the two of them, Inigo feels like he's so obviously the much more mediocre one. ]
But it's.. it's sweet of you to think so, if you really think that..
[ Honestly, he can't believe Inigo. He takes the guy's hands into his, mainly to peel them from his cheeks; laugh light, a confused lift to his brow, but- ]
Of course I do! Come on, you know all this already. You're always so hard on yourself- but you're as good as the rest of us. You're one of the best guys I know here!
[ He's still holding his hands, smile bright, facing him head on. Like he's trying to trap him, not letting him escape until- ]
[ Why does it feel like he's being trapped here? Somewhere between the words and the fact that the hands are taken from his face, taking away his secure little hiding place and leaving his flustered face on full display as he stares at Tidus like a deer in the headlights of a truck, Inigo really can't help but feel like this is a trap he's being lured into.
Or rather, that he's already been lured into. And now there's no escape with Tidus holding his hands like that. ]
Are.. Are you even going to give me a chance to say no?
[ His grin pulls more like an answer itself, but he does shake his head with it. The hands holding onto Inigo's wrists--not tightly, but keeping him exposed, refusing him to shy away. ]
You'd never do anything but give it your all. No matter how hard things get or if you wanna just give up. You keep on going. [ He tugs Inigo's hands lightly, but reassured, confidently. ] You can't tell me that's wrong. You're strong!
[ And maybe to hear it from someone else might help, or just make Inigo all the more flustered, but no back-downs. ]
Admit it to yourself!
[ It's a plea, almost, in its delivery - not quite demanding, but also not relenting. But Tidus is here to witness it, hear it. You can do it, friend...! ]
Hey, now you're just-- you're just making it bigger and bigger!
[ That's just too much to admit to himself. Especially that he's strong. That just.. doesn't feel right, no matter how many times he turns it over inside of his head. Someone strong would have been able to save his world before things got as bad as they did. Someone strong wouldn't cry all the darn time. Someone strong wouldn't have gotten their butt served to them on a platter by Reno.
But he feels like Tidus isn't going to give up until he says at least something, so Inigo does try. Even though it's a definite struggle, visible on his face as he momentarily looks everywhere but straight back at Tidus while he speaks. ]
But I.. I guess I do my best.
[ That much he can say. Still a bit hard, but at least he can believe that's true. Not that his best is all that great, but like Tidus says, he does give things his all. ]
It's a start. [ Since, well, it's weak, it's timid, it doesn't believe in itself, but it's going to get the mulling tone of uncertainty. Even so, there's a smile keeping to Tidus's face, a tip to his head.
Clearly, this needs a better approach. ]
Okay, here. How about this - we both do it. It's practice! [ Tidus will shift his feet some even, like he's getting ready and into place.
[ There's a few half-sputtered surprised sounds. Inigo wasn't prepared for this conversation to turn into this direction. It sounds like he kind of wants to protest, yet at the same time does recognize Tidus is trying to help him out here and that it'd be rude on his part to just dodge out of that, but-- but!! ]
I don't like this practice! [ At least let him get out that statement of protest, okay. With his cheeks still red. This is so much.
BUT FINE. FINE. HE'S.. TRYING.. Even though he practically has to squeeze the words out. ]
[ There's a few sputtered beginnings of sentences, but it doesn't seem like Inigo is capable of stringing together a full sentence like this. Not while he's this flustered, caught in this compliment trap. ]
Why are we moving on to the next one already! You're going too fast! [ TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY IF YOU WANT HIM TO DO THE SAME, BRO!
Because.. see? He's going to try! The great one is a little hard, but he can at least say the last one a bit louder this time. ]
[ At the very least Inigo's hands don't immediately move to cover up his face again this time. They just drop down, hanging by his sides idly. ]
N..
[ This one is hard too. And it feels dumb. He's just repeating words, it shouldn't be so hard, especially when he's lied about his confidence plenty of times.
But Tidus knows the truth behind it. Maybe that's what makes it so hard. Especially since this one is a lie. Reno disproved it right away, after all. ]
No one can put me down! [ Inigo does manage to repeat it after a moment or two, though he doesn't look entirely confident as he says it. ]
[ He sucks in a breath. If not just to buy himself just a few more moments to prepare himself before he actually says it, trying to fight the churning feeling in his gut that tells him not to do it. ]
Anyone who tries isn't.. isn't worth my time.
[ Sweet Naga, that's hard. Why is it so hard? ]
But.. you know, even when people aren't worth your time, they're still hard to just get out of your head!
Then you tell yourself you're going to be better than them!
[ Fire to his words, Tidus, without Inigo's hands now to keep himself still, starts to pace. Energised, determined; the loser that Inigo's mood gets, the more he wants to fight it. ]
You are better than them! They're jerks! You take everything they say to you say and prove you're better than any of it!
[ Fists tight, Tidus faces out from the stage that's become their little spot. ]
[ Watching him pace, almost pose for the audience - Inigo is reminded of exactly why he likes Tidus so much.
He's strong. And - if Inigo is kind to himself - it's not like Inigo is totally weak in comparison. He's gritted his teeth and done stuff he didn't want to plenty of times because it had to be done. He's survived a lot more than he ever thought he would. But Tidus.. Tidus just radiates this natural confidence. It's like a spark, like fire, like light in the darkness. It's moments like these where Tidus shines the brightest, leaving Inigo standing there completely baffled for a moment, wondering where he fits in next to that with all his bumbling insecurity.
But maybe all he has to do is try.
He steps forward until he's next to Tidus. ]
I'm no quitter! [ Loudly.
Then, at a more normal volume: ]
I'm not.. I'm not going to give up. Ever. Even when it gets really hard.
[ Tidus turns his head to his companion. His teammate, his friend; taking that step by his side, giving him reason to still his ever constant energy. Stand still, and be by his side. Reaching for the hand that Tidus knows Inigo likes to be held, just as any part of his body.
Squeezing it tight, present, refusing to relinquish it to anyone. Tidus watches Inigo as he speaks, then faces the audience that can't be seen, but spoken to everyone. To even the void itself: ]
Even when it gets hard, I'll keep going! I'll get up, over and over! I'm not going to be stopped here! [ His hand twitches, a quick tighten of his hold. ] I won't give up!
[ It's daring, it's complex, even for him to say. Out into this open room, as if making a promise. Speaking out to the him of earlier that month, the person still wearing his skin, in there. Himself.
Does he have the strength for this to be genuine? It's not a question he'll ask or answer, let itself have a table in his mind. Only the confidence matters. Only that -- that they should be true.
[ It's the exact same feeling that resides in Inigo's chest at this very same moment.
Maybe even moreso since something about Tidus grabbing his hand and squeezing it that tightly makes him realise. That this isn't just for Inigo, isn't just because of his own dumb insecurities.
He's not the only one who's been hurt. Tidus has been burned just as badly. If anything, both of them are stuck right at the same spot - at having to face the line that divides them from everything they love, erasing their place in the world they've known. (Even though Inigo may not fully understand yet just how extremely so that applies to Tidus.)
Because Tidus has been sad too. And worried. And scared.
And because still, still, still they can't give up.
Inigo's hand squeezes back with just as much force, as if the hand Tidus has offered him is his lifesaver, the only thing keeping him rooted to the here and now. ]
First to give up gets dragged back by the other.
[ This, too, sounds like a promise. Maybe it's the one thing they can do for each other. Never allow the other to fully be immersed in the pit of despair that always feels like it is lurking around the corner. ]
Impassioned words spoken to an empty room are both powerful and meaningless, an exercise Tidus knows well. Speaking them to no one but himself. A younger him, promising to be better than his old man - to beat him, to no longer be that scared little boy who'd cry and cry and cry. Too emotional for it to mean anything, but a stubborn heart and perseverance getting him somewhere. The same anger and hurt that drove him, also driving him to remember why he claimed this goal in the first place.
Because - I'm worth something too!
Words ring both true and meaningless. But right then with Inigo beside him, the promise in them, the trepidation that threatens him like a ghost, he ignores the doubt. ]
-- Deal.
[ His younger self never had somebody to lean on. No one he would let in. And here is Inigo, letting him in, all the time. More and more and more.
Tidus steps to face the other man without breaking their linked hands. Smiling, quiet, nothing needed to be said at first; wanting to appreciate this moment between for what it is a little more. And then- ]
[ It's not said with the usual kind of exaggeration that might come along with those words. Acting dramatically shocked, or offended, or any emotion that's played out way over the top.
This moment feels a bit too special for dramatics like that. Because that promise they just made - it's one Inigo intends on keeping himself to. Not like he wouldn't already have dragged Tidus back out of whatever pit of despair he may find himself in. But this time it's a little more sure, more certain. He won't let another situation happen like after Yuna left the train, where he was bumbling, unsure of how far he could go to help Tidus.
The next time he won't hesitate as much. And he knows he can count on Tidus to do the same for him. ]
.. sure, I guess. [ He squeezes Tidus's hand a little, gaze meeting his. ] What is it?
Well, [ he says, starts with, a small tip of the head, like Inigo should already know where this is going, because- ]
You have to go and talk to Roland!
[ It's not loud, but it's a declaration -- where this all seemed to begin, led them to this room, though that isn't quite true. But it was Inigo's concern, and though Tidus has no worries about how it'll go, even now. It worried Inigo, and so: His first challenge. ]
I'll come with you, to find him. But the rest of it is up to you.
[ It's said a little like the realisation of what Tidus just said is still hitting him, and so a moment later he repeats: ]
Oh! [ Yeah, he probably should have seen that one coming. But they were so serious for a moment there, and Inigo was so caught up in the mood, that he thought Tidus would be refering to something else entirely. Inigo's shoulders sag a bit, though not in defeat as much as he's just breathing out. Coming down a bit from the mood of a moment ago. ]
That's not even really a challenge. Telling him I like guys is much less terrifying than showing you my dancing. [ And he already did that, so this feels like the lesser challenge. ] But if you want to head that way with me.. then sure, let's go.
[ Admit it, Inigo, you absolutely forgot all that. But it's good to see Inigo being more sure about speaking to Roland than he was before, getting sulky because Tidus didn't understand. He gives Inigo a pat on the back of his shoulder before he moves off the platform, ready to get going. Oh, he wants to see Inigo being all embarrassed about making such a fuss! ]
How about you tell him with a dance? If you want a challenge so much.
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blitzcheer) wrote2020-04-28 11:07 am
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[ But, fooolding his arms. ]
Maybe you don't appreciate my compliments well enough! How about that? Now I see it. When's the last time you got gooey about something nice I had to say about you?
[ like just a minute ago but that's not the point ]
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Didn't I do so just now?! [ He's pretty sure he got all soft for a bit there, okay! Doesn't he get soft at Tidus all the time?! ] You're usually the one who tells me to not get all sappy on you! I would gladly be gooey all the time with you, you know!
[ DON'T EVEN DOUBT THAT FOR A MINUTE. He is ready. ]
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So if I said I think you're a great guy who doesn't give himself the credit he deserves, needs to stand up taller and prouder of himself! What do you think about that?
[ Is this what challenges Inigo? ]
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His face is starting to get redder with every single word that comes out of Tidus's mouth. How is he supposed to deal with this, huh? Inigo already is unable to deal with praise coming from strangers, let alone people he's close to and whose opinion is therefore really important to him--
It feels like his cheeks are burning so hard that he has to move his hands up and slap them over said cheeks just to cover them. ]
W-Well, I..! [ It almost sounds like he's choking on his own words. ] I.. I just don't think I have much to be proud of! Especially compared to the people around me..
[ Just look at Tidus! Between the two of them, Inigo feels like he's so obviously the much more mediocre one. ]
But it's.. it's sweet of you to think so, if you really think that..
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Of course I do! Come on, you know all this already. You're always so hard on yourself- but you're as good as the rest of us. You're one of the best guys I know here!
[ He's still holding his hands, smile bright, facing him head on. Like he's trying to trap him, not letting him escape until- ]
You're as hardworking as anyone else here. Right?
[ Tiiime to agreee with hiiimmm, Inigo. ]
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Or rather, that he's already been lured into. And now there's no escape with Tidus holding his hands like that. ]
Are.. Are you even going to give me a chance to say no?
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You'd never do anything but give it your all. No matter how hard things get or if you wanna just give up. You keep on going. [ He tugs Inigo's hands lightly, but reassured, confidently. ] You can't tell me that's wrong. You're strong!
[ And maybe to hear it from someone else might help, or just make Inigo all the more flustered, but no back-downs. ]
Admit it to yourself!
[ It's a plea, almost, in its delivery - not quite demanding, but also not relenting. But Tidus is here to witness it, hear it. You can do it, friend...! ]
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[ That's just too much to admit to himself. Especially that he's strong. That just.. doesn't feel right, no matter how many times he turns it over inside of his head. Someone strong would have been able to save his world before things got as bad as they did. Someone strong wouldn't cry all the darn time. Someone strong wouldn't have gotten their butt served to them on a platter by Reno.
But he feels like Tidus isn't going to give up until he says at least something, so Inigo does try. Even though it's a definite struggle, visible on his face as he momentarily looks everywhere but straight back at Tidus while he speaks. ]
But I.. I guess I do my best.
[ That much he can say. Still a bit hard, but at least he can believe that's true. Not that his best is all that great, but like Tidus says, he does give things his all. ]
Is that good enough?
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Clearly, this needs a better approach. ]
Okay, here. How about this - we both do it. It's practice! [ Tidus will shift his feet some even, like he's getting ready and into place.
And, opening his mouth- ]
I do my best!
[ A beat, a nod, and- ]
Your turn!
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I don't like this practice! [ At least let him get out that statement of protest, okay. With his cheeks still red. This is so much.
BUT FINE. FINE. HE'S.. TRYING.. Even though he practically has to squeeze the words out. ]
I.. I do my best. [ Very convincing, obviously. ]
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Louder! [ That's for Inigo's lacklustre repeat. But Tidus is still smiling, going onto the next one- ] I'm great!
[ He sounds like he's having fun! ]
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[ There's a few sputtered beginnings of sentences, but it doesn't seem like Inigo is capable of stringing together a full sentence like this. Not while he's this flustered, caught in this compliment trap. ]
Why are we moving on to the next one already! You're going too fast! [ TAKE THIS SERIOUSLY IF YOU WANT HIM TO DO THE SAME, BRO!
Because.. see? He's going to try! The great one is a little hard, but he can at least say the last one a bit louder this time. ]
I do my best!
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I do my best!
[ Here he'll let go of Inigo's wrists, hands in fists and one pumped up. ]
No one can put me down!
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N..
[ This one is hard too. And it feels dumb. He's just repeating words, it shouldn't be so hard, especially when he's lied about his confidence plenty of times.
But Tidus knows the truth behind it. Maybe that's what makes it so hard. Especially since this one is a lie. Reno disproved it right away, after all. ]
No one can put me down! [ Inigo does manage to repeat it after a moment or two, though he doesn't look entirely confident as he says it. ]
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Anyone who tries - [ it's not as loud, but it's impassioned, just as hard to ignore ] - isn't worth my time!
[ Hear that, Inigo? ]
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Anyone who tries isn't.. isn't worth my time.
[ Sweet Naga, that's hard. Why is it so hard? ]
But.. you know, even when people aren't worth your time, they're still hard to just get out of your head!
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[ Fire to his words, Tidus, without Inigo's hands now to keep himself still, starts to pace. Energised, determined; the loser that Inigo's mood gets, the more he wants to fight it. ]
You are better than them! They're jerks! You take everything they say to you say and prove you're better than any of it!
[ Fists tight, Tidus faces out from the stage that's become their little spot. ]
I'm no quitter!
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He's strong. And - if Inigo is kind to himself - it's not like Inigo is totally weak in comparison. He's gritted his teeth and done stuff he didn't want to plenty of times because it had to be done. He's survived a lot more than he ever thought he would. But Tidus.. Tidus just radiates this natural confidence. It's like a spark, like fire, like light in the darkness. It's moments like these where Tidus shines the brightest, leaving Inigo standing there completely baffled for a moment, wondering where he fits in next to that with all his bumbling insecurity.
But maybe all he has to do is try.
He steps forward until he's next to Tidus. ]
I'm no quitter! [ Loudly.
Then, at a more normal volume: ]
I'm not.. I'm not going to give up. Ever. Even when it gets really hard.
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Squeezing it tight, present, refusing to relinquish it to anyone. Tidus watches Inigo as he speaks, then faces the audience that can't be seen, but spoken to everyone. To even the void itself: ]
Even when it gets hard, I'll keep going! I'll get up, over and over! I'm not going to be stopped here! [ His hand twitches, a quick tighten of his hold. ] I won't give up!
[ It's daring, it's complex, even for him to say. Out into this open room, as if making a promise. Speaking out to the him of earlier that month, the person still wearing his skin, in there. Himself.
Does he have the strength for this to be genuine? It's not a question he'll ask or answer, let itself have a table in his mind. Only the confidence matters. Only that -- that they should be true.
They can be. They can be. ]
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Maybe even moreso since something about Tidus grabbing his hand and squeezing it that tightly makes him realise. That this isn't just for Inigo, isn't just because of his own dumb insecurities.
He's not the only one who's been hurt. Tidus has been burned just as badly. If anything, both of them are stuck right at the same spot - at having to face the line that divides them from everything they love, erasing their place in the world they've known. (Even though Inigo may not fully understand yet just how extremely so that applies to Tidus.)
Because Tidus has been sad too. And worried. And scared.
And because still, still, still they can't give up.
Inigo's hand squeezes back with just as much force, as if the hand Tidus has offered him is his lifesaver, the only thing keeping him rooted to the here and now. ]
First to give up gets dragged back by the other.
[ This, too, sounds like a promise. Maybe it's the one thing they can do for each other. Never allow the other to fully be immersed in the pit of despair that always feels like it is lurking around the corner. ]
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Impassioned words spoken to an empty room are both powerful and meaningless, an exercise Tidus knows well. Speaking them to no one but himself. A younger him, promising to be better than his old man - to beat him, to no longer be that scared little boy who'd cry and cry and cry. Too emotional for it to mean anything, but a stubborn heart and perseverance getting him somewhere. The same anger and hurt that drove him, also driving him to remember why he claimed this goal in the first place.
Because - I'm worth something too!
Words ring both true and meaningless. But right then with Inigo beside him, the promise in them, the trepidation that threatens him like a ghost, he ignores the doubt. ]
-- Deal.
[ His younger self never had somebody to lean on. No one he would let in. And here is Inigo, letting him in, all the time. More and more and more.
Tidus steps to face the other man without breaking their linked hands. Smiling, quiet, nothing needed to be said at first; wanting to appreciate this moment between for what it is a little more. And then- ]
Ready for your first challenge?
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[ It's not said with the usual kind of exaggeration that might come along with those words. Acting dramatically shocked, or offended, or any emotion that's played out way over the top.
This moment feels a bit too special for dramatics like that. Because that promise they just made - it's one Inigo intends on keeping himself to. Not like he wouldn't already have dragged Tidus back out of whatever pit of despair he may find himself in. But this time it's a little more sure, more certain. He won't let another situation happen like after Yuna left the train, where he was bumbling, unsure of how far he could go to help Tidus.
The next time he won't hesitate as much. And he knows he can count on Tidus to do the same for him. ]
.. sure, I guess. [ He squeezes Tidus's hand a little, gaze meeting his. ] What is it?
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You have to go and talk to Roland!
[ It's not loud, but it's a declaration -- where this all seemed to begin, led them to this room, though that isn't quite true. But it was Inigo's concern, and though Tidus has no worries about how it'll go, even now. It worried Inigo, and so: His first challenge. ]
I'll come with you, to find him. But the rest of it is up to you.
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[ It's said a little like the realisation of what Tidus just said is still hitting him, and so a moment later he repeats: ]
Oh! [ Yeah, he probably should have seen that one coming. But they were so serious for a moment there, and Inigo was so caught up in the mood, that he thought Tidus would be refering to something else entirely. Inigo's shoulders sag a bit, though not in defeat as much as he's just breathing out. Coming down a bit from the mood of a moment ago. ]
That's not even really a challenge. Telling him I like guys is much less terrifying than showing you my dancing. [ And he already did that, so this feels like the lesser challenge. ] But if you want to head that way with me.. then sure, let's go.
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How about you tell him with a dance? If you want a challenge so much.
[ Heheh! ]
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