[ With points awarded and a little time to kill, Roland makes an even earlier start than usual. He takes a quick trip to the kitchen for a carrot muffin, a little too sweet for his liking but delicious nonetheless, before jogging to the nearest ICP terminal popping out of the wall. He bites down on the muffin, lets it dangle against his mouth while he types against the screen with both hands. ]
Well, now. Thank you kindly, train.
[ Roland's eyes grow slightly wide, checking how many points he's gathered: 134. Perfect. He's already done the math in his head, and without hesitation, he types in what he needs first and foremost: his backup. A higgledy. A High Higgledy, to be precise. He adds a little bit more - a gift for a friend. An Arms Band order is placed for Tidus too, before he finishes his round. But he types awfully slow, making sure every word on the order is precise to avoid confusion, so if anyone had to use the ICP here, they'd have some time to line up and wait for him to finish... ]
[ There's an easy and quick way to check for one's points by using the ICP in their cabin, but even with Nita bringing it up the day before, Tidus still forgets once 'morning' hits. What, look, waking up in this place is a chore unto itself. Don't @ him when all he cares about is getting a decent shower and heading to where the food is after.
For the similar timing that everyone wakes, it's still Roland who gets to the kitchen and the terminal first; and with the shop terminal in the way between Tidus and food, the sight of the guy there and using it, reminding him of points-- ]
Hey, Roland! [ --Roland is going to have Tidus's complete attention instead of his stomach. He hurries his pace over to him, suddenly fifty times more giddy than his neutral state moments ago. ] How many points we get? Huh?
[ Oh man, should he have done chores the other day? And the day before that...? It's not his fault, he was tired after the mission! If Roland doesn't hurry up he's going to start jogging in place!! ]
Tidus, come on, our stuff is here! There's going to be so much stuff! Do you think I'm going to break my back hauling that around by myself? No way! I'm not going to be that fool! We're going to shove all of it into your Arms Band, come on!
[ A slight pause.
Then two more bangs. ]
Tidus?
[ Another moment of silence, then Inigo's voice grows less loud. ]
[ A much more respectful knock. A regular person knock. ]
.. Tidus? You're in there, right?
[ There's an almost pregnant pause, but the moment Inigo realises he's not getting an answer that easily, he continues. His words are a bit slow, like he has to turn them all over thrice in his head before he speaks them. ]
I.. heard. About Yuna, I mean. I'm sorry, I really should've noticed earlier, but you know, I never check the.. [ His voice trails off. ] Nevermind, that's not important. I just wanted to say that I'm here for you if you need it. It's so rough losing someone that important, I know, and-- and if there's anything I can do to help, I'll gladly do it, you know? Even if it's just being there with you.
[ There's another pause, longer this time, but no sound of footsteps. He hasn't walked away yet.
Then there's a faint, humorless laugh. ]
Or.. being on the other side of this door here. I can do that too. I know I shouldn't be assuming anything about what you're feeling right now, but.. you've at least got to be feeling rough, right? I.. I'll give you space if you need it, but..
[ He sucks in a breath. ]
Just. You know. If you need anything, let me know. Contact me. Come wake me up in the middle of the night tonight, I don't care. The moment you need someone, I'll be there, okay?
[ There's another moment of silence. It's almost awkward this time, something hesitant about it, before he finally breaks it with-- ]
So I'm going now. Away.. from.. the door. I mean. Ugh. But just let me know! Anytime is fine. I promise. So..
Hey. Good morning. .. If you're already up, that is. [ Not like he can tell from this side of the door. He even waits, just in case he might hear an answer, but as there's nothing-- ] But I guess I'll say it anyway, just in case you are up.
[ Even if he's going to look like a moron talking to a closed door! Whatever! ]
It's fine if you still need time to yourself today. But.. just in case you wanted some company, I thought I'd let you know where I'll be today, you know? So you don't have to go look everywhere while you're still feeling bad.
Um, I'm first off to spar with Gerome at the gym. He's been trying to learn how to handle using different weapons from the usual, so I've been practicing with him. You can join, if you want. I'll even let you make a dumb joke if he accidentally hits me right in the face. Or if you just want to quietly be there-- that's fine too. You've seen Gerome, he's not the type to harass anyone over being too quiet. Quite the opposite. [ Inigo laughs, and though it would sound convincing to most, there's something humorless about it. ] And then later on I should be in the library. I know-- library. Not like me at all, huh. It seems that Roland is busy practically making the place into his personal office though. So much paperwork. And someone's got to keep him company, right? Though you can come keep him company too, of course. I mean.. he'd like that. I think. But only if you're up to it! Or the two of us could eat dinner together, if that's better? Just you and me?
[ He exhales. ]
Of course it's fine if you don't turn up to any of it. Maybe I'm just annoying you right now, in which case.. I'm sorry. You can tell me to shut up, I won't get upset. I just..
[ His voice trails off.
For a moment it's quiet. ]
I just wanted to make sure you're not alone if you don't want to be. That's all. And I-- I'll go now. But you know where to find me.
Tidus? Uh.. I hope you got to eat the food Taiki and I made for you. I'm not sure how good it was, though.. I mean, it had Taiki's effort and affection in it, so it's got to at least have tasted fairly decent because of that, right? He seems so busy with thinking up ways to make you feel better, it's really sweet. I know by now you need space, but.. you know. Once you feel like you want to talk to someone again, consider making that person him. I think he's pretty worried about you.
[ We all are, he almost says, but that's a burden he doesn't want to put on Tidus's shoulders. Not while the other must be feeling so miserable, if he hasn't been out in the open for three days now. That's a long time.
That thought makes him think about how Tidus must be hurting so much, and here Inigo is, stupidly whining at his door like a dog. That's not what Tidus needs. He's quiet for a moment, forcing more pep and cheer into his voice, even though he's not really feeling any of it. But Inigo has mustered it up in much darker situations. He can do so here too. ]
Or if tomorrow happens to be the day you need some company and you can't find Taiki, I will most likely spend all day with Roland! [ Because the other is overworking himself to death with worries about most likely Tidus and Naga knows what else, and he'll skip all his meals if Inigo doesn't physically drag him away from his table in the library. But again, that's not information Tidus needs now. ] So that means we'll be in the new library car. Though I'd mention that. Just in case.
And if you require anything else, or if you'd prefer a different dish next time, just let me know! You can just leave a note if talking is too hard, that's fine with me. You know I'd do anything to help you.
[ There's a moment where he obviously lingers, a moment where he can't quite hide his awkwardness, but then his footsteps finally fade away. ]
If Tidus is looking to see if his things are still intact, he'll find something else there too.
Hey,
I'm not sure how our conversation is going to go next time we meet. Hence, the letter. I won't force you to talk, that's not my style. You come to me when you're ready, ok?
You're one of the first friends I had on this train Tidus, and I intend to keep it that way. I hate to see someone as happy as you in this state. You need to take care of yourself. This is going to take time for you to heal up properly. Try to give yourself that much. Don't go do anything crazy, alright?
You've always got a friend in me, Tidus. Hell, you're like a brother to me.
I'll see you when I see you.
Zidane
P.S. Stop being so tall man, I was tempted to keep your hoodie just cause it's so comfortable.
[ It's like the world on repeat. Because there's been a whole mission inbetween, and there's a myriad more things to worry about at this point, and yet here Inigo is again. All the same. At Tidus's door.
It's not hard to notice the other still not being around as much as usually, and of course Inigo is going to fuss over it. That much hasn't changed, no matter how much else has in the meantime.
But rather than sitting outside his door and talking to it like he did before the mission, instead Inigo is just.. going to knock here. Until Tidus opens the door. Open up, bro.... He can do this all day, bro!! Especially now he knows it's not like Tidus is avoiding him or doesn't want to see him! That brings renewed determination to all this! ]
[ It takes a few knocks before Tidus comes to the door.
Not for any other reason than--he didn't hear it, the first time or second. With earphones in and music on, it was nothing more than a possibility to Tidus that a certain noise in the track wasn't actually coming from it, and taking out an earphone...
There. Tidus gets up with the confirmation and goes to the door, not sure who it'll be, but...
Seeing that it's Inigo when he opens it, it gives him pause. A quick flash reminder that Inigo had been coming to outside his room before, though Tidus hadn't caught it every time, apparently. And there's a feeling for that, somewhere between guilt or embarrassment or shame, even if Tidus can't pinpoint why.
[ Sometimes the dumbest conversations start in the most normal situations.
Like when you're both sitting on the floor while you take a slight break from training, higgledies now hopping all around them and chittering among themselves as if it's just a regular thing now. Just their life now.
The two of them are quiet though - for once, just a second - before Inigo pipes up, completely out of the blue: ]
Do you think I should tell Roland that I like guys?
[ Higgledys are good for training, or something, and that's actually true - but also, it's good just to let them out and have fun, in as many numbers as they like to be in. It's a big gym, they're not hurting anyone! Though Tidus is sure not to use Gibbers for anything too exhausting - not when it's for fighting they need food, and there's not going to be any of that for the little guy 'til the start of next month.
There's a lot of other things then to be thinking about. Other things that Tidus is, if watching the higgledys messing around as he does. And then Inigo speaks.
[ Inigo is the first to leave the Stores after their little one-on-one talk to clarify things, and there's a wave to someone that Roland recognizes even as he takes his time to figure out what in the world just happened between him and Inigo in the first place. But it can't be anyone else other than Tidus, so he knows to leave after Inigo does, hoping Tidus stayed behind the adjacent room.
He is there, seated on the table, cross-legged. Which, on any other day, would have meant Roland's reprimand to sit properly, people eat on that, but today is not that day. Today, Roland waits until it's safe to speak, then rushes over to Tidus with his arms crossed against his chest and his expression almost dumbfounded. ]
Hey. Did you know about this? [ Never mind that he might have been eavesdropping. There are more important matters at hand right now! ] Inigo just...told me he likes men.
Which, he isn't imagining to be much. Inigo works himself up into a fuss and makes it more dramatic than it needs to be, and Roland will, if he's a sensible guy, stand there dumbfounded but ultimately accept Inigo and his ways. They both already have, so it's not like this is going to be any real shocker.
That doesn't mean Tidus isn't going to be present right after the reveal though. There's the slim chance Roland didn't already know, and if that's the case -- well. Roland just isn't the smart guy he presents himself out to be then, is he!
But wait, here he comes. The door sliding on automatic and closing behind him, wearing the exact look Tidus was hoping for. And out from his mouth-
'Inigo just...told me he likes men.'
Tidus's eyes widen, head leaning forward an inch. He covers his mouth with both hands. ]
He did. And, well, Tidus guesses Inigo did give him instructions there before he did that, as baffling as it was. So Tidus goes to Roland's name on the SCA, selects it for a one-on-one. The name stays highlighted.
[ First, find someone you trust to be with you. Tidus knows about this, if he's around.
Well, that narrows it down pretty quickly, doesn't it. Someone he trusts to be with him - if he narrows it down, then it'd be either Tidus, Taiki or Roland, right? But Taiki is already such a sensitive soul, and Inigo can't imagine Roland would be particularly happy with Inigo going along with this experiment.
So his fellow teen in crime it is. Inigo seeks Tidus out among the weirdness of the biosphere, jogging over in his direction once he recognizes the familiar form. ]
Hey, Tiduuus! [ He calls out, pretty loudly still - though as he approaches the other, Inigo seems to get a bit more serious. This isn't just something he's fooling around about, after all. ]
[ It's alright. What was Tidus likely doing in that moment other than complaining in his own head about how stupid this place is? Actually, he is trying to be somewhat useful by contemplating if he wants to bother bugging one of those panels for the Helpmates. It's bound to end up with the thing freaking out on him, but maybe he can get somewhere this time...? Come on, how long are they expected to travel through this place?!
But there comes the Call. Tidus peers away from the risk rectangle, attention disengaging more from the panel as he stands in wait of Inigo's approach. ]
What's up?
[ He's more calm, curious, the change in mood not yet registering. ]
[ Today the train seems to consist of nothing but chaos.
And whereas usually Tidus and Inigo tend to be the origin of any kind of chaotic shenanigans going on around them, today that's definitely not the case. And it sure wasn't hard to figure out what was going on either, considering all these kids with faces that seemed familiar, yet younger - and Roland's obvious change. Something weird is happening again, maybe something similar to the voidstorm. Hopefully something that should similarly not last that long.
But for now they've just retreated from all the chaos. The constant sound of quick footsteps as kids run around, the screaming. And while there aren't too many places to hide from that sort of thing when you're stuck on a train, the spa carriage seemed like their best option for now.
.. although their spa carriage decision brings a whole new discovery with it. Perhaps Tidus has already changed into one of the available trunks, but Inigo seems a little slower.
And not out of a sense of embarrassment, this time. Instead he lifted his shirt, took a look, and then let the part of the shirt he was holding drop from his hands again, so he's still just wearing it. ]
Tidus?
[ His voice is a little soft, yet surprised at the same time. Inigo turns his face towards the other. ]
It's--.. They're gone. [ A very comprehensive explanation as to what exactly he means, huh. ]
[ Sheesh, kids are so...moody. Romeo's really spoilt him, though it's fortunate that the kid still has all the energy in the void and more to handle them, as well as those more eager to play adult to the shrunken passengers who haven't retained their memories. It's a weird sort of fun for a time, but Tidus is happy to get away from the confusion and chaos, the novelty wearing off after a time. Is this going to be a week long thing, or something? That they can deal with later.
For now, Tidus wants to relax - away from the kids' shows, board games and balls games already occupied (and massively indulged in), and to some actual peace and quiet. ...or honestly, just somewhere soothing, with the only place for that turning out to be the spa. It's the closest facility to a pool they have right now, and once the idea pops into his mind, Tidus is eager, even for the heat and the bubbles; quick to undress, 'cause why wait?
And he's rolled up his clothes, shoving them at the bottom of the closet for safe keeping when Inigo speaks up, and Tidus looks over at him, confused.
They're...? ]
--Who? [ He looks back, as if there was someone else that Inigo saw. But there's no one (obviously), and he returns his gaze onto Inigo.
[Inigo had advised Entrapta that Tidus was a good guy to go to for fighting observation, so she finds his room. With a balled-up fist shape of hair she knocks on his door, her real hands tucked behind her back.]
Hi! My name is Entrapta. Your friend Inigo said you could help me!
[ --This is an odd sight following the knock at the door.
Maybe not that strange, at least not the sight. He's sure he's seen this girl around the train, but what she could be here for, Tidus can't fathom.
So- ] Sure, [ he says with a note of interest. His hair a little tussled, dressed out of anything train designated and in shorts and a sleeveless hoodie. ] What's up?
[ This gonna be some kinda tech-related question?? Inigo's never good at those... ]
At least he saw it coming. Not that he didn't hope, the moment he saw her name had turned golden right after the mission. Maybe she'd come back after all - he tries to keep at least a spark of hope alive in his heart, connected to that thought. But that didn't mean he could just ignore the very real possibility that his mother would be among the people walking off the train the next time it'd stop at a platform.
And so she was. Her name crossed off the roster, as if it was never there to begin with. As if she was never on the train to begin with. And maybe she's just back home now. But they can't be sure, right? Inigo still remembers the answer the train gave him, Taiki and Tidus that day vividly. What happens to people when they leave the train is unknown.
(Please let her be home, he prays in his heart. The only thing he can do. Asking Naga for her safety, for her happiness. Please, please, please, let her be home now..)
The uncertainty lingers in the dark corners of his heart though, dragging Inigo down all day. Even as he tries to talk to newcomers, trying to pretend everything is normal. After a while.. he just can't anymore.
So Inigo drags his feet back to his cabin - even that has changed now, huh, with the inevitability of people leaving - and climbs up onto his bunk to drop himself there.
[ What do you say when a name turns gold? You hope, you can voice that hope; but when it's so personal, when you've watched people go so many times after the name switches colour - it's hard to speak it, to believe. It seems kinder to keep the wish private, breathe the sigh of relief once the person returns, smile and say you're glad it never happened.
But when's the last time that it didn't? When someone he's known has back from a changed name, hasn't just disappeared without warning? More and more people disappear, and Tidus finds it hard in him to count every one of them.
People come, people go. He knew and accepted it from the start, but it's been weighing on him heavier, the friends of friends leaving; the family of friends...
Tidus goes about his business, doing what he needs to with some awareness of what's (who's) waiting. Greets newcomers, goes to collect his orders, speaks to the people he needs to and then - he searches for Inigo. Lingers longer as he passes through the carriages, soon enough figuring where he'd find the guy, if he hasn't missed him.
It's bizarre, what he sees when he enters. The bathtub, S'reee's bathtub -- gone. He knew already, saw her leaving, her mass hard to miss even if he didn't want to watch, but still. It's been so long that he stares at the bottom bed that's replaced her sleeping spot, what else it's taken with it: the damp foot mornings, all the time they woke up the other side together; the familiarity, what this space became for him.
Nothing sticks. None of them mean anything. They can come and go, and it doesn't even matter...
Tidus buries the emotion before it can turn into something strange, and he looks over to his head and then higher above it. He thinks he sees him there - or that might be his oversized toy.
One or the other. ]
Inigo? [ He waits a beat, and then- ] Are you asleep?
[ It doesn't take too long to find out about the new rooms that are available, after looking around the sleeper carriages to see where his room, and the rooms of several other people he knows, are now located.
It takes a little longer to think about it. Not for himself - Inigo instantly likes the idea. It's not even that he dislikes their current roommate, Rose has been nice enough to him when they spoke before. But sharing a room with just Tidus would mean being much more comfortable about a whole lot of things, knowing no one else will see them or know about them. Like his dancing gear or magazines. Not to mention that the idea of sharing a bed with Tidus is...
.. well. Inigo's opinion about that is probably clear enough already.
No, the hesitation comes in being unsure what the other would feel about the idea. He thinks Tidus would probably enjoy having a place just to themselves too, having just a bit more space for the both of them. But with Tidus being slightly quite a bit less touch addicted than Inigo himself is, he wonders if the other would be bothered by the idea of sleeping in one bed, even if they'd still have more space than in their current bunks.
Inigo stands there for a while, watching some people sign up for it, and then decides to go and find Tidus anyway. Sure, it'll be a disappointment if the other guy says no, but it's not like he's going to even have a shot at getting a 'yes' as an answer until he asks.
He walks through the train until he finds the other, trying to smile more easily than the nervousness in his heart makes him feel. ]
[ Tidus is taking a break from all the walking around everywhere and chatting to people flurry of a platform stop, sitting in the standard coach and fiddling with a device that's got the same kind of blue tint as his memoris, but might catch Inigo's eye as different on a second glance.
If he cares about that. Regardless if he does, Tidus has his back slouched against the wall, attention flitting up at the other guy and a small smile creasing his lips before he looks back to the device, giving its screen a tap. ]
The fancy hang out rooms, or that the cabins finally doubled? I told it to do that ages ago. [ Or, he did in his head. ] You wanna try out the rooms sometime?
[ It's not often that Inigo spends a day on the train like this. But maybe it's exactly what they needed - or maybe the one thing they can handle after how that mission ended.
It's already later into the day, sometime during the afternoon - or whatever passes for an afternoon on the train, anyway - and Inigo and Tidus are still in bed. Inigo has had plenty of reasons to be glad that they moved into their own little private double room, but this is one to add to the books: it sure makes it easier to just stay in bed together.
Not that they haven't done at least some stuff. They put up some of the things they (or, well, mostly Tidus, since he's the ideas guy) took along from that odd city, making the room feel even a little bit more like it's theirs.
It's after Inigo lets his gaze linger on the lamp filled with jellyfish for what feels like the umpteenth time that he rolls over, facing Tidus again. It's hard to see the other without thinking of the amount of pained faces he's seen the other make only just the other day, honestly. Inigo is thinking of it even now.
.. He's thinking of the way Tidus disappeared back there, even now.
Inigo hasn't brought it up earlier. Too distracted by the relief of ther reunion right after the fact, and then there just hadn't been time between saving civilians, and then.. well, then the illusion that brought both of them down. ]
Tidus. [ He says, softly, half-muffled by the way he's leaning so heavily on the mattress below them, his cheek smushed against it. ] Can I.. ask something?
[ It's been a day of finding anything that doesn't require brain power. It's usually like this, missions that ask for too much fighting and a lot of magic, and magic turns the entirety of the space where his brain should be into fog central, where focus is a distant cousin. This time however, there isn't the usual exhaustion from magic or endless fighting that commonly haunts their objectives.
It's closer to the days after Yuna left. Where all he wants to do is to never move from his bed, not have to think about the rest of the train or anything. Except this time, he has company; more than a cabinmate returning for their own want or like, but a bedmate. A friend. Company he doesn't want to ignore or send away.
Company to share in this recovery after mystery, though looking Inigo in the face makes him want to cry sometimes. Has led to a few tears being shed already.
But there's been some distractions. Games aren't on the menu, but going through the haul from the city was something. A giant mess mainly and too many electronics in Inigo's presence, but there's a few bits and bobs for them to keep. Tidus is curled up with one of the old magazines opened, idly looking the pictures, pieces of chocolate blocks half-forgotten with tiny bits crumbled off to make a mess one way or another.
Tidus looks away from the book over to Inigo, when he speaks up. ] Mmm?
[ Inigo knows that the party isn't everything to his birthday. After all, he did ask Tidus for one other thing. Surely the other guy still remembers too, right?
Even though it means waiting until the party is over. Inigo even stays with Tidus afterwards to sort out the whole leftover food situation, but once they're finally truly done, Inigo figures he ought to speak up.
Even though he feels so nervous about it. Is it weird? They already discussed it before, so.. probably not, right? Then why does he still feel so nervous?!
His throat feels so dry, but Inigo opens his mouth anyway, forcing out the words before he has the chance to get so insecure about them that he can't say anything anymore. ]
I, uh.. I can still.. have my other present, right?
[ They won't have the room much longer, but turn off the projector, clear it up and return it the way it was, and it's nice. A shame for the cost and hassle it is to get to use it, and until their time runs out - or until Tidus and Inigo get bored - Tidus is happy to lean back and man spread on the couch, letting the music still play some tune apparently similar to Inigo's world.
Relaxed, until the words that come out of Inigo's mouth, and Tidus brings up his leaned head to look at the other guy, mouth opening, closing. ]
U-uh... sure, [ finally comes out, Tidus wishing the other guy could have been more...what about it? Sexy?? More proactive?? Despite the way he shuffles himself to sit up some proper, hands at either side. ]
He's determined to make this a success, sure. He's been planning this for ages now! But maybe all that planning is exactly what's making him nervous now, considering he knows about all the things that could make this go very wrong. Like looking nervous, for one. He's asked Tidus earlier in the day to come to their room a while after dinner for you know what, but the lack of specific timing on this train thanks to the lack of regular clocks leaves Inigo with so much time to prepare that he ends up having a little bit too much time - forced to spend the rest of the time with trying to get the nerves out, by screaming and jumping.
Is it working? He's not sure.
What he is sure of, however, is that he stops any and all shenanigans the moment he hears the sound of someone right there outside the door. He nervously smoothes his hair, his clothes, before quickly turning towards the door and stepping towards it the moment he can hear it open.
And when it is open, Inigo immediately latches onto Tidus's hand, drawing him in enough to make the door fall closed behind him. It leaves the initial moment startling, sure, but Inigo doesn't seem to move after that. He just stands there, one hand still holding on to Tidus's wrist - giving the other a moment to actually take a good look at him.
Since there's a lot to see. Inigo did put on his dancer outfit, as promised, but it's not the only thing. There's a tiara nestled in his hair, makeup around his eyes in dark blues and golds, and stick on jewelry in similar hues on his stomach, accentuating his belly button.
Inigo still feels deadly nervous, but he's trying so hard to not show it. So hard. Tidus likes it when he's confident. It's what this look demands. ]
Hey, handsome.
[ At least he manages. He's shoving these nerves so far down in order to flash the other a charming smile. Inigo may even have tried using the lamps they stole took from places as mood lighting. ]
I believe it was my turn to show you a good time tonight.
Tidus isn't entirely dense, at least. The request surprises him initially, but only briefly, the times they get together less of a scheduled event as are an in-the-moment occurrence. But maybe Inigo's in the mood, and Tidus isn't unwilling, with most of his early day spent on middling swimming requests between him and Gibbs than anything strenuous.
Gibbs, who he lets go off to play with Rannygazoo and Jumblie either, since he and Inigo have some things to do, so uhh -- you guys go wherever.
Regardless, Tidus's own apprehensions are low. There's some nerves in him of possibly getting the wrong idea, but they're minimal at best; the thought of going back to their room and kissing turning easily into an appetising one, and he even eats a small dinner so he isn't so full when he gets back. That's what the arms band is for - to put his leftovers into, so he can eat his another day.
(Or just forget half a plate of curry in there.)
Suffice to say, Tidus came to their room with few expectations. Maybe the thought of Inigo waiting on the bed, shy-faced but playing it down, giving a quip about keeping him waiting. Or he's not even in there, and Tidus has picked a bad time, which, whatever - that's what magazines are for. Or Inigo's handheld console, since he doesn't play it, and Seto has his right now to make a gaming console.
None of this comes to be. Instead, as soon as Tidus starts into the room, he's dragged in quicker, the door closed and Tidus's brain and vision taking a moment to catch up. He blinks, and his eyes then widen when he spots the incredibly out of place sight of -- Inigo? Inigo, dressed up to the tens and beyond, and - is that make up? Is that a...crown?
Tidus stares incredulously, eyes fixing onto Inigo's when he calls him handsome; cheeks warming, and he'd almost forgotten how good Inigo looks in that outfit, but this is... ]
I... um...
[ He feels so underdressed. Should he do something? He searches for anything to say, but neither his mouth nor brain want to work.
Say something, say something! ('Why are you dressed this good for this? Is this a practice date you're trying on me?')
He swallows against a drying throat, and forcing the thought thing to come out-- ]
( he's avoiding having to think hard on gift culture here where everyone's a mishmash of cultures by leaving this for tidus outside his door, with a folded piece of notebook paper bearing his name and wei wuxian's signature, followed by a smiling face.
congratulations, here's your plush otter, wearing a tiny shirt with an Aquafir logo on it. )
[ He knocks it with his foot,not giving much resistance, but enough of an oddity to make Tidus look down, a 'huh...?' leaving him as he stares blankly at the sight.
Did someone drop their toy...? That's what Tidus thinks, until he spots the piece of paper with it, picking both up and giving the paper a read, wondering first if it might have something to do with one of the kids, until-
... ]
...is this a joke...?
[ That is to say: what is this
Congratulations, Wei Wuxian, for confusing Tidus as always. He'll bring the otter inside the room and give it a home on the end of the bed, BUT HE'S STILL NOT SURE THIS ISN'T A JOKE...!! ]
once they're back on the train after aquafir; hang on jingyi is joining in too
[ Look, sometimes braincells are rubbed together into great ideas.
Or what Inigo thinks is a great idea, anyway. A true effort of collaboration between him and Jingyi over here, and he actually does seem genuinely excited to present this gift to Tidus - or at least, he thinks Tidus would be able to appreciate it moreso than anyone.
So the moment they're back on the train, Inigo is already (metaphorically) dragging Jingyi over to find the other guy. While making Jingyi hold the mystery box.
Sorry, bro, apparently those of us with dragon strength need to carry it. ]
Tidus, Tidus!
[ Look who's sounding like an excited toddler today, waving his arms. ]
( This heavy box, that will break arms less strong than a Lan's, it's Known. Jingyi for his part isn't disguising the sort of smugly amused look on his face, walking behind Inigo who is definitely the far more excited one--because Jingyi is clearly trying to not laugh.
But in a good way? Probably. Who knows. He holds up the box, as if indicating, here, Tidus, here's the gift, this box that doesn't tell you a thing. )
A timely one, I'd say. Right, Inigo?
( This guy's walking with his tail doing the cat curling one side to the other in question marks of supreme self-satisfaction. )
It's just.. he wasn't sure if any of his friends would want to do this. It might be too heavy for them, even though he knows that each and every single one of them has suffered loss in some way, would have something to think of at a moment like this.
But who says that they'd want to think about it? To Inigo it's practically unthinkable to not honour both his father and his mother at a moment like this, no matter how awkward his relationship with his father is - was - or how much it hurts to think of his mother. He knows that he had to go.. but he didn't want to burden anyone else with the thought of having to be witness to such a heavy moment.
So when Inigo spots Tidus in the crowd, he's a little surprised to see the other. Out of all people he imagined might voluntarily go by himself, the other guy certainly wasn't at the top of his list.
.. and yet.. here is he. Inigo is close enough by the time Tidus speaks to even hear what the other is saying.
It leaves him awkwardly standing there for a moment. Does he speak up? Does he not? Would it be interrupting something too private?
Inigo frowns, still not sure of his decision, even as he's making it. Even as he's already speaking up. ]
.. Tidus. [ His voice is soft, but still audible over the crowd around them, considering most people are kind of quiet during this part.
Inigo isn't sure what else to say though, other than the other's name, quietly said like that. ]
[ If it wasn't the voice, a name that still comes close to being buried under the noise of talking around them, Tidus wouldn't look up. Lost in his thoughts that he's kept tucked close to his heart. Zanarkand, with all its people; his old man, always a lingering presence; and Auron, a man he never really knew...
He doesn't know who speaks it, if he imagines it, until he turns his head and sees Inigo, a small 'oh' coming with the rise of his eyebrows. ]
'Sup. You come to light some candles? You're supposed to put the long ones at the shrine, but- I didn't want to.
[ Casually, he speaks, because why wouldn't he? Everyone's talking, encouraged to talk, and he's joining in, in a way he isn't sure what to do, but he sure knows how to use his mouth.
It's the realisation Inigo never wants to have, and yet he can't stop it anymore. After already having felt crappy on the train, and then going into this mission and just running for days on nothing but fumes and sheer determination, it feels like he has completely drained himself at this point.
It all started this morning. First there was the realisation that something felt different from the few days before, like something was lifted off his shoulders - except instead of a burden being lifted, it was a boon. A presence that felt like it was there with him through the days he just tried to work his ass off and keep his emotions in check is now gone, leaving behind a hollow void that only makes the emotions more intense than they were before the presence helped him out.
And then there was the realisation that some of the distortions had changed, that one of them now lead to a hellscape not unlike the one he and his friends fled from back home. A world they had been determined to never let come to pass. Sure, Inigo tried to do the usual things. Inform everyone. Try to stay on top of it. Try to give advice, try to help out.
But the longer he lingers in that distortion, the harder it gets to not see Ylisse all around him. To not feel the same overwhelming sense of dread and despair. It's like the distortion in front of his eyes and his traumatic memories start to blend together more and more, until it's unbearable, until it feels like he can no longer breathe, until, until--
Until he flees the distortion. He sinks on his knees right outside it, unable to think of anything.
Instead Inigo just sinks to his knees. It feels like he's having a panic attack, even though he tries to suck in deep breaths. He feels so awful. About what could be happening back home, about their current existence on the train and its instability, about this mission and the way they're erasing people, about this distortion, so much like Ylisse.
Gasping for air, he feels hot tears starting to stream down his cheeks. He can't do this anymore. He's not strong enough to just keep pushing on, and--
And he doesn't want to be alone. He knows he can't call anyone, because he doesn't want anyone to see him like this when he's supposed to keep himself strong during this mission, but his heart longs for company, for the way his friends at least get close to comforting him, to soothing his heart.
He thinks of that moment a day or two ago, when he and Tidus walked side by side, and the other had grabbed his hand for a moment, so innately understanding of Inigo's frame of mind in that situation. The way Tidus understands him so easily, the way Tidus holds him..
.. he wants it. In this moment, where he can't do anything but cry and try to keep breathing, he just wants Tidus here with him.
In truth, it's Tidus that does. But his senses, the sensation that fills and flows out of him, the call with no voice but loud in his ears, his being - it silences everything around him, allows it no presence. A deep, despairing need and want crying out. Crying for him, pleading.
It wants to be heard - and it's Inigo. It's Inigo. Confusion turns into panic, turns into a need to respond. There's few times that he's had an event close to this one, but he doesn't care for the details more than for that need tugging at him. Wanting him. And Tidus says, thinks, chooses yes without question for what's going on.
It could be a trap, a distortion; it could be a lie, but it feels too real - and so he lets himself believe.
--And for it, Inigo sits curled in front of him. Nothing more than a back of the head and shoulders, but Tidus is lowering too, bringing his hands to rest over the frame that he can, to give immediate comfort.
"Inigo-- I-I'm here, okay? I'm here," Tidus urges, reassures, knowing nothing about what's going on, just only what he felt. "It's me, you're alright, you're not alone, alright? I'm right here."
[ Does Inigo feel tired after everything? Of course. Somewhere between being hauled back to the train through the void and jumping in on the rescue of a few people himself, he can feel the exhaustion in his bones as well.
But he knows that it's not the worst for him. He knows that the people who stayed back on the train - or who got to, anyway, since it's not exactly like Inigo voluntarily left - got the worst of it. They had to pull back so many people. And Inigo knows Tidus well enough to know that the other must have dragged back so many more people aside from just him, aside from the people he saw Tidus rescue. Tidus must have exhausted himself in making sure every single person would end up back on the train, rather than lost out there in the void.
So Inigo isn't surprised when he wakes up ahead of Tidus. He slowly blinks, his eyes adjusting to the sight of their room, the first time he's woken up here again in days. It feels familiar, yet a little strange all the same, leaving Inigo staring up at the ceiling for a few moments until the familiar soft breathing next to him draws his attention instead.
He turns his head, spotting the obvious there. Tidus, still asleep. His hair all messy from turning in bed in his sleep, his eyes closed, his breathing steady.
.. he really missed this. Inigo was honestly so afraid that he'd never see this again. That he'd forever be stuck in that state he was in for the last few days, having disappeared out into the void just like everyone who had left the train. He thought he wouldn't see Tidus again, wouldn't have the experience of waking up next to him anymore like this, but..
He does. Here he is, next to Tidus. Watching the other sleep.
It's tempting to wake Tidus up, but Inigo knows that the other can use every single moment of sleep he can get, considering how hard he worked. So Inigo doesn't touch or otherwise try to wake the other.
He just turns his body in bed so he's there on his side, watching the other. Just enjoying this moment that almost feels miraculous, just because he can have it once more. ]
[ He doesn't think he'll sleep when they go to bed. He's exhausted to the point of being an empty tank, just a body that drags to carry. Exhausted over the rescues, exhausted emotionally from bringing so many friends back. Knowing and seeing Inigo around - even that was tiring for how it stirred around inside his chest, a vice around his lungs that he wanted to give more attention to (to Inigo, to tell him everything he's been carrying for days - the fear of nearly losing him that way), but he couldn't. Can't.
In reality, it doesn't take him long to fall asleep at all.
He won't remember if he dreamed. What it was that led to him waking, but there's memories, thoughts; the entry and leave from the void clinging to him as much as the rest, the calls that he heard, the misery and longing. A loneliness. A deep, crippling loneliness, the desire to have anyone close. The reminder of an empty bed beside him every morning that he woke, and he sees it then, before his eyes have truly opened. We didn't get him, we didn't get him. ]
Inigo. [ It's a cry that comes out wet, and Tidus reaches at Inigo's side of the bed, something in the way. Bedsheets, his brain figures, not realising the body that's there, the thing that he's scrambling for before his vision actually awakens and adjusts.
Whenever it is that he does see Inigo there - if Inigo stops him, grabs his hand or settles him down, Tidus locks onto him with wide, disbelieving eyes - and then the tears start to come, his lower lip trembling, a mouth he has to fight his jaw to close. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blitzcheer) wrote2020-04-28 11:07 am
Grasshopper 31 - The morning before the platform stop
Well, now. Thank you kindly, train.
[ Roland's eyes grow slightly wide, checking how many points he's gathered: 134. Perfect. He's already done the math in his head, and without hesitation, he types in what he needs first and foremost: his backup. A higgledy. A High Higgledy, to be precise. He adds a little bit more - a gift for a friend. An Arms Band order is placed for Tidus too, before he finishes his round. But he types awfully slow, making sure every word on the order is precise to avoid confusion, so if anyone had to use the ICP here, they'd have some time to line up and wait for him to finish... ]
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For the similar timing that everyone wakes, it's still Roland who gets to the kitchen and the terminal first; and with the shop terminal in the way between Tidus and food, the sight of the guy there and using it, reminding him of points-- ]
Hey, Roland! [ --Roland is going to have Tidus's complete attention instead of his stomach. He hurries his pace over to him, suddenly fifty times more giddy than his neutral state moments ago. ] How many points we get? Huh?
[ Oh man, should he have done chores the other day? And the day before that...? It's not his fault, he was tired after the mission! If Roland doesn't hurry up he's going to start jogging in place!! ]
hi this is my first time at your place, i bought hummus dip
just stick it directly in tidus's mouth, tyvm
o-oh okay wow you guys don't fool around in this house do you ((shoves hummus down his throat))
just like we don't fool with POINTS
WOW YOU WENT THERE ALREADY HUH, we're not even done with appetizers
telling u, get to 500 points end of august!!
the bankrolling sugar dads of the trecker
come here for all ur free heals
I SAW THAT DELETED COMMENT, DELINQUENT!! JUST TRY IT
/READS EVERYTHING!!!
DEAR DIARY, TODAY TIDUS WAS BEING SO RUDE TO ME AGAIN
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horseshoe 1 - 5, the puppy inigo saga
early horseshoe 1, while tidus is out there disappearing himself (for completeness' sake)
[ Loud banging on the door. ]
Tidus, come on, our stuff is here! There's going to be so much stuff! Do you think I'm going to break my back hauling that around by myself? No way! I'm not going to be that fool! We're going to shove all of it into your Arms Band, come on!
[ A slight pause.
Then two more bangs. ]
Tidus?
[ Another moment of silence, then Inigo's voice grows less loud. ]
.. seriously, not here either? Where is he?
later horseshoe 1
.. Tidus? You're in there, right?
[ There's an almost pregnant pause, but the moment Inigo realises he's not getting an answer that easily, he continues. His words are a bit slow, like he has to turn them all over thrice in his head before he speaks them. ]
I.. heard. About Yuna, I mean. I'm sorry, I really should've noticed earlier, but you know, I never check the.. [ His voice trails off. ] Nevermind, that's not important. I just wanted to say that I'm here for you if you need it. It's so rough losing someone that important, I know, and-- and if there's anything I can do to help, I'll gladly do it, you know? Even if it's just being there with you.
[ There's another pause, longer this time, but no sound of footsteps. He hasn't walked away yet.
Then there's a faint, humorless laugh. ]
Or.. being on the other side of this door here. I can do that too. I know I shouldn't be assuming anything about what you're feeling right now, but.. you've at least got to be feeling rough, right? I.. I'll give you space if you need it, but..
[ He sucks in a breath. ]
Just. You know. If you need anything, let me know. Contact me. Come wake me up in the middle of the night tonight, I don't care. The moment you need someone, I'll be there, okay?
[ There's another moment of silence. It's almost awkward this time, something hesitant about it, before he finally breaks it with-- ]
So I'm going now. Away.. from.. the door. I mean. Ugh. But just let me know! Anytime is fine. I promise. So..
.. um. See you.
horseshoe 2, mid-late morning
Hey. Good morning. .. If you're already up, that is. [ Not like he can tell from this side of the door. He even waits, just in case he might hear an answer, but as there's nothing-- ] But I guess I'll say it anyway, just in case you are up.
[ Even if he's going to look like a moron talking to a closed door! Whatever! ]
It's fine if you still need time to yourself today. But.. just in case you wanted some company, I thought I'd let you know where I'll be today, you know? So you don't have to go look everywhere while you're still feeling bad.
Um, I'm first off to spar with Gerome at the gym. He's been trying to learn how to handle using different weapons from the usual, so I've been practicing with him. You can join, if you want. I'll even let you make a dumb joke if he accidentally hits me right in the face. Or if you just want to quietly be there-- that's fine too. You've seen Gerome, he's not the type to harass anyone over being too quiet. Quite the opposite. [ Inigo laughs, and though it would sound convincing to most, there's something humorless about it. ] And then later on I should be in the library. I know-- library. Not like me at all, huh. It seems that Roland is busy practically making the place into his personal office though. So much paperwork. And someone's got to keep him company, right? Though you can come keep him company too, of course. I mean.. he'd like that. I think. But only if you're up to it! Or the two of us could eat dinner together, if that's better? Just you and me?
[ He exhales. ]
Of course it's fine if you don't turn up to any of it. Maybe I'm just annoying you right now, in which case.. I'm sorry. You can tell me to shut up, I won't get upset. I just..
[ His voice trails off.
For a moment it's quiet. ]
I just wanted to make sure you're not alone if you don't want to be. That's all. And I-- I'll go now. But you know where to find me.
horseshoe 3, later/evening
[ We all are, he almost says, but that's a burden he doesn't want to put on Tidus's shoulders. Not while the other must be feeling so miserable, if he hasn't been out in the open for three days now. That's a long time.
That thought makes him think about how Tidus must be hurting so much, and here Inigo is, stupidly whining at his door like a dog. That's not what Tidus needs. He's quiet for a moment, forcing more pep and cheer into his voice, even though he's not really feeling any of it. But Inigo has mustered it up in much darker situations. He can do so here too. ]
Or if tomorrow happens to be the day you need some company and you can't find Taiki, I will most likely spend all day with Roland! [ Because the other is overworking himself to death with worries about most likely Tidus and Naga knows what else, and he'll skip all his meals if Inigo doesn't physically drag him away from his table in the library. But again, that's not information Tidus needs now. ] So that means we'll be in the new library car. Though I'd mention that. Just in case.
And if you require anything else, or if you'd prefer a different dish next time, just let me know! You can just leave a note if talking is too hard, that's fine with me. You know I'd do anything to help you.
[ There's a moment where he obviously lingers, a moment where he can't quite hide his awkwardness, but then his footsteps finally fade away. ]
horseshoe 4
horseshoe 5, pre-nita's icp message
After getting his hoodie back
Hey,
I'm not sure how our conversation is going to go next time we meet. Hence, the letter. I won't force you to talk, that's not my style. You come to me when you're ready, ok?
You're one of the first friends I had on this train Tidus, and I intend to keep it that way. I hate to see someone as happy as you in this state. You need to take care of yourself. This is going to take time for you to heal up properly. Try to give yourself that much. Don't go do anything crazy, alright?
You've always got a friend in me, Tidus. Hell, you're like a brother to me.
I'll see you when I see you.
Zidane
P.S. Stop being so tall man, I was tempted to keep your hoodie just cause it's so comfortable.
horseshoe 13, maybe??
It's not hard to notice the other still not being around as much as usually, and of course Inigo is going to fuss over it. That much hasn't changed, no matter how much else has in the meantime.
But rather than sitting outside his door and talking to it like he did before the mission, instead Inigo is just.. going to knock here. Until Tidus opens the door. Open up, bro.... He can do this all day, bro!! Especially now he knows it's not like Tidus is avoiding him or doesn't want to see him! That brings renewed determination to all this! ]
ok i guess you can have the 13th
Not for any other reason than--he didn't hear it, the first time or second. With earphones in and music on, it was nothing more than a possibility to Tidus that a certain noise in the track wasn't actually coming from it, and taking out an earphone...
There. Tidus gets up with the confirmation and goes to the door, not sure who it'll be, but...
Seeing that it's Inigo when he opens it, it gives him pause. A quick flash reminder that Inigo had been coming to outside his room before, though Tidus hadn't caught it every time, apparently. And there's a feeling for that, somewhere between guilt or embarrassment or shame, even if Tidus can't pinpoint why.
But it hits him in a few seconds, before- ] --Hi.
[ hi?? ]
wow so good to me
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horseshoe 25
Like when you're both sitting on the floor while you take a slight break from training, higgledies now hopping all around them and chittering among themselves as if it's just a regular thing now. Just their life now.
The two of them are quiet though - for once, just a second - before Inigo pipes up, completely out of the blue: ]
Do you think I should tell Roland that I like guys?
[ He's going to do it anyway.
But might as well check the brovice first. ]
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There's a lot of other things then to be thinking about. Other things that Tidus is, if watching the higgledys messing around as he does. And then Inigo speaks.
And then Tidus is looking at him.
And he's looking at him.
And looking at him. ]
...
........whhhyy.....?
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still horseshoe 25...
He is there, seated on the table, cross-legged. Which, on any other day, would have meant Roland's reprimand to sit properly, people eat on that, but today is not that day. Today, Roland waits until it's safe to speak, then rushes over to Tidus with his arms crossed against his chest and his expression almost dumbfounded. ]
Hey. Did you know about this? [ Never mind that he might have been eavesdropping. There are more important matters at hand right now! ] Inigo just...told me he likes men.
1/
Which, he isn't imagining to be much. Inigo works himself up into a fuss and makes it more dramatic than it needs to be, and Roland will, if he's a sensible guy, stand there dumbfounded but ultimately accept Inigo and his ways. They both already have, so it's not like this is going to be any real shocker.
That doesn't mean Tidus isn't going to be present right after the reveal though. There's the slim chance Roland didn't already know, and if that's the case -- well. Roland just isn't the smart guy he presents himself out to be then, is he!
But wait, here he comes. The door sliding on automatic and closing behind him, wearing the exact look Tidus was hoping for. And out from his mouth-
'Inigo just...told me he likes men.'
Tidus's eyes widen, head leaning forward an inch. He covers his mouth with both hands. ]
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during the mission bonus trek, over the sca BUT PUT HERE SINCE IT'S TOO INDULGENT OK
Tidus. Hang up. Try calling Roland.
[ He just hangs up. (Even though he said hang up, but, whatever.)
TENSE, INIGO? HAHA, GOOD JOKE, PAL, HE IS SO CALM RIGHT NOW. CLEARLY. OBVIOUSLY. ]
coward
[ wait.
...
Did Inigo just hang up on him!?
He did. And, well, Tidus guesses Inigo did give him instructions there before he did that, as baffling as it was. So Tidus goes to Roland's name on the SCA, selects it for a one-on-one. The name stays highlighted.
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will inigo get lonely before tidus calls back ]
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me: i should tag in order.... also me: i want my emotional support boys
what's a tag order
ugh sorry to BURDEN you with these TAGS before i SLEEP!!!
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jelly 6
Well, that narrows it down pretty quickly, doesn't it. Someone he trusts to be with him - if he narrows it down, then it'd be either Tidus, Taiki or Roland, right? But Taiki is already such a sensitive soul, and Inigo can't imagine Roland would be particularly happy with Inigo going along with this experiment.
So his fellow teen in crime it is. Inigo seeks Tidus out among the weirdness of the biosphere, jogging over in his direction once he recognizes the familiar form. ]
Hey, Tiduuus! [ He calls out, pretty loudly still - though as he approaches the other, Inigo seems to get a bit more serious. This isn't just something he's fooling around about, after all. ]
I need your help.
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But there comes the Call. Tidus peers away from the risk rectangle, attention disengaging more from the panel as he stands in wait of Inigo's approach. ]
What's up?
[ He's more calm, curious, the change in mood not yet registering. ]
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jelly 22
And whereas usually Tidus and Inigo tend to be the origin of any kind of chaotic shenanigans going on around them, today that's definitely not the case. And it sure wasn't hard to figure out what was going on either, considering all these kids with faces that seemed familiar, yet younger - and Roland's obvious change. Something weird is happening again, maybe something similar to the voidstorm. Hopefully something that should similarly not last that long.
But for now they've just retreated from all the chaos. The constant sound of quick footsteps as kids run around, the screaming. And while there aren't too many places to hide from that sort of thing when you're stuck on a train, the spa carriage seemed like their best option for now.
.. although their spa carriage decision brings a whole new discovery with it. Perhaps Tidus has already changed into one of the available trunks, but Inigo seems a little slower.
And not out of a sense of embarrassment, this time. Instead he lifted his shirt, took a look, and then let the part of the shirt he was holding drop from his hands again, so he's still just wearing it. ]
Tidus?
[ His voice is a little soft, yet surprised at the same time. Inigo turns his face towards the other. ]
It's--.. They're gone. [ A very comprehensive explanation as to what exactly he means, huh. ]
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For now, Tidus wants to relax - away from the kids' shows, board games and balls games already occupied (and massively indulged in), and to some actual peace and quiet. ...or honestly, just somewhere soothing, with the only place for that turning out to be the spa. It's the closest facility to a pool they have right now, and once the idea pops into his mind, Tidus is eager, even for the heat and the bubbles; quick to undress, 'cause why wait?
And he's rolled up his clothes, shoving them at the bottom of the closet for safe keeping when Inigo speaks up, and Tidus looks over at him, confused.
They're...? ]
--Who? [ He looks back, as if there was someone else that Inigo saw. But there's no one (obviously), and he returns his gaze onto Inigo.
....
....??? ]
Inigo?
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Hi! My name is Entrapta. Your friend Inigo said you could help me!
[Maybe.]
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Maybe not that strange, at least not the sight. He's sure he's seen this girl around the train, but what she could be here for, Tidus can't fathom.
So- ] Sure, [ he says with a note of interest. His hair a little tussled, dressed out of anything train designated and in shorts and a sleeveless hoodie. ] What's up?
[ This gonna be some kinda tech-related question?? Inigo's never good at those... ]
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beep beep calling in inigo to join the thread
beep beep beep inigo backing up
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kazoo 16
At least he saw it coming. Not that he didn't hope, the moment he saw her name had turned golden right after the mission. Maybe she'd come back after all - he tries to keep at least a spark of hope alive in his heart, connected to that thought. But that didn't mean he could just ignore the very real possibility that his mother would be among the people walking off the train the next time it'd stop at a platform.
And so she was. Her name crossed off the roster, as if it was never there to begin with. As if she was never on the train to begin with. And maybe she's just back home now. But they can't be sure, right? Inigo still remembers the answer the train gave him, Taiki and Tidus that day vividly. What happens to people when they leave the train is unknown.
(Please let her be home, he prays in his heart. The only thing he can do. Asking Naga for her safety, for her happiness. Please, please, please, let her be home now..)
The uncertainty lingers in the dark corners of his heart though, dragging Inigo down all day. Even as he tries to talk to newcomers, trying to pretend everything is normal. After a while.. he just can't anymore.
So Inigo drags his feet back to his cabin - even that has changed now, huh, with the inevitability of people leaving - and climbs up onto his bunk to drop himself there.
He doesn't move anymore. ]
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But when's the last time that it didn't? When someone he's known has back from a changed name, hasn't just disappeared without warning? More and more people disappear, and Tidus finds it hard in him to count every one of them.
People come, people go. He knew and accepted it from the start, but it's been weighing on him heavier, the friends of friends leaving; the family of friends...
Tidus goes about his business, doing what he needs to with some awareness of what's (who's) waiting. Greets newcomers, goes to collect his orders, speaks to the people he needs to and then - he searches for Inigo. Lingers longer as he passes through the carriages, soon enough figuring where he'd find the guy, if he hasn't missed him.
It's bizarre, what he sees when he enters. The bathtub, S'reee's bathtub -- gone. He knew already, saw her leaving, her mass hard to miss even if he didn't want to watch, but still. It's been so long that he stares at the bottom bed that's replaced her sleeping spot, what else it's taken with it: the damp foot mornings, all the time they woke up the other side together; the familiarity, what this space became for him.
Nothing sticks. None of them mean anything. They can come and go, and it doesn't even matter...
Tidus buries the emotion before it can turn into something strange, and he looks over to his head and then higher above it. He thinks he sees him there - or that might be his oversized toy.
One or the other. ]
Inigo? [ He waits a beat, and then- ] Are you asleep?
[ (Emptier.
The room fills emptier.) ]
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llama 1
It takes a little longer to think about it. Not for himself - Inigo instantly likes the idea. It's not even that he dislikes their current roommate, Rose has been nice enough to him when they spoke before. But sharing a room with just Tidus would mean being much more comfortable about a whole lot of things, knowing no one else will see them or know about them. Like his dancing gear or magazines. Not to mention that the idea of sharing a bed with Tidus is...
.. well. Inigo's opinion about that is probably clear enough already.
No, the hesitation comes in being unsure what the other would feel about the idea. He thinks Tidus would probably enjoy having a place just to themselves too, having just a bit more space for the both of them. But with Tidus being
slightlyquite a bit less touch addicted than Inigo himself is, he wonders if the other would be bothered by the idea of sleeping in one bed, even if they'd still have more space than in their current bunks.Inigo stands there for a while, watching some people sign up for it, and then decides to go and find Tidus anyway. Sure, it'll be a disappointment if the other guy says no, but it's not like he's going to even have a shot at getting a 'yes' as an answer until he asks.
He walks through the train until he finds the other, trying to smile more easily than the nervousness in his heart makes him feel. ]
Hey, Tidus. Did you see the new rooms?
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If he cares about that. Regardless if he does, Tidus has his back slouched against the wall, attention flitting up at the other guy and a small smile creasing his lips before he looks back to the device, giving its screen a tap. ]
The fancy hang out rooms, or that the cabins finally doubled? I told it to do that ages ago. [ Or, he did in his head. ] You wanna try out the rooms sometime?
[ Be modern? ]
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llama 13
It's already later into the day, sometime during the afternoon - or whatever passes for an afternoon on the train, anyway - and Inigo and Tidus are still in bed. Inigo has had plenty of reasons to be glad that they moved into their own little private double room, but this is one to add to the books: it sure makes it easier to just stay in bed together.
Not that they haven't done at least some stuff. They put up some of the things they (or, well, mostly Tidus, since he's the ideas guy) took along from that odd city, making the room feel even a little bit more like it's theirs.
It's after Inigo lets his gaze linger on the lamp filled with jellyfish for what feels like the umpteenth time that he rolls over, facing Tidus again. It's hard to see the other without thinking of the amount of pained faces he's seen the other make only just the other day, honestly. Inigo is thinking of it even now.
.. He's thinking of the way Tidus disappeared back there, even now.
Inigo hasn't brought it up earlier. Too distracted by the relief of ther reunion right after the fact, and then there just hadn't been time between saving civilians, and then.. well, then the illusion that brought both of them down. ]
Tidus. [ He says, softly, half-muffled by the way he's leaning so heavily on the mattress below them, his cheek smushed against it. ] Can I.. ask something?
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It's closer to the days after Yuna left. Where all he wants to do is to never move from his bed, not have to think about the rest of the train or anything. Except this time, he has company; more than a cabinmate returning for their own want or like, but a bedmate. A friend. Company he doesn't want to ignore or send away.
Company to share in this recovery after mystery, though looking Inigo in the face makes him want to cry sometimes. Has led to a few tears being shed already.
But there's been some distractions. Games aren't on the menu, but going through the haul from the city was something. A giant mess mainly and too many electronics in Inigo's presence, but there's a few bits and bobs for them to keep. Tidus is curled up with one of the old magazines opened, idly looking the pictures, pieces of chocolate blocks half-forgotten with tiny bits crumbled off to make a mess one way or another.
Tidus looks away from the book over to Inigo, when he speaks up. ] Mmm?
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llama 18 (nsfw)
Even though it means waiting until the party is over. Inigo even stays with Tidus afterwards to sort out the whole leftover food situation, but once they're finally truly done, Inigo figures he ought to speak up.
Even though he feels so nervous about it. Is it weird? They already discussed it before, so.. probably not, right? Then why does he still feel so nervous?!
His throat feels so dry, but Inigo opens his mouth anyway, forcing out the words before he has the chance to get so insecure about them that he can't say anything anymore. ]
I, uh.. I can still.. have my other present, right?
nsfw = no sex for wuu
Relaxed, until the words that come out of Inigo's mouth, and Tidus brings up his leaned head to look at the other guy, mouth opening, closing. ]
U-uh... sure, [ finally comes out, Tidus wishing the other guy could have been more...what about it? Sexy?? More proactive?? Despite the way he shuffles himself to sit up some proper, hands at either side. ]
Like...when we get back to the room?
Not Safe For Woland
Not Safe For Wednesdays
uh oh that means i can't tag it tomorrow
it's ok as long as we keep the sin at bay
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early in the second half of merriment, also nsfw because i only come here for the thirst
He's determined to make this a success, sure. He's been planning this for ages now! But maybe all that planning is exactly what's making him nervous now, considering he knows about all the things that could make this go very wrong. Like looking nervous, for one. He's asked Tidus earlier in the day to come to their room a while after dinner for you know what, but the lack of specific timing on this train thanks to the lack of regular clocks leaves Inigo with so much time to prepare that he ends up having a little bit too much time - forced to spend the rest of the time with trying to get the nerves out, by screaming and jumping.
Is it working? He's not sure.
What he is sure of, however, is that he stops any and all shenanigans the moment he hears the sound of someone right there outside the door. He nervously smoothes his hair, his clothes, before quickly turning towards the door and stepping towards it the moment he can hear it open.
And when it is open, Inigo immediately latches onto Tidus's hand, drawing him in enough to make the door fall closed behind him. It leaves the initial moment startling, sure, but Inigo doesn't seem to move after that. He just stands there, one hand still holding on to Tidus's wrist - giving the other a moment to actually take a good look at him.
Since there's a lot to see. Inigo did put on his dancer outfit, as promised, but it's not the only thing. There's a tiara nestled in his hair, makeup around his eyes in dark blues and golds, and stick on jewelry in similar hues on his stomach, accentuating his belly button.
Inigo still feels deadly nervous, but he's trying so hard to not show it. So hard. Tidus likes it when he's confident. It's what this look demands. ]
Hey, handsome.
[ At least he manages. He's shoving these nerves so far down in order to flash the other a charming smile. Inigo may even have tried using the lamps they
stoletook from places as mood lighting. ]I believe it was my turn to show you a good time tonight.
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Tidus isn't entirely dense, at least. The request surprises him initially, but only briefly, the times they get together less of a scheduled event as are an in-the-moment occurrence. But maybe Inigo's in the mood, and Tidus isn't unwilling, with most of his early day spent on middling swimming requests between him and Gibbs than anything strenuous.
Gibbs, who he lets go off to play with Rannygazoo and Jumblie either, since he and Inigo have some things to do, so uhh -- you guys go wherever.
Regardless, Tidus's own apprehensions are low. There's some nerves in him of possibly getting the wrong idea, but they're minimal at best; the thought of going back to their room and kissing turning easily into an appetising one, and he even eats a small dinner so he isn't so full when he gets back. That's what the arms band is for - to put his leftovers into, so he can eat his another day.
(Or just forget half a plate of curry in there.)
Suffice to say, Tidus came to their room with few expectations. Maybe the thought of Inigo waiting on the bed, shy-faced but playing it down, giving a quip about keeping him waiting. Or he's not even in there, and Tidus has picked a bad time, which, whatever - that's what magazines are for. Or Inigo's handheld console, since he doesn't play it, and Seto has his right now to make a gaming console.
None of this comes to be. Instead, as soon as Tidus starts into the room, he's dragged in quicker, the door closed and Tidus's brain and vision taking a moment to catch up. He blinks, and his eyes then widen when he spots the incredibly out of place sight of -- Inigo? Inigo, dressed up to the tens and beyond, and - is that make up? Is that a...crown?
Tidus stares incredulously, eyes fixing onto Inigo's when he calls him handsome; cheeks warming, and he'd almost forgotten how good Inigo looks in that outfit, but this is... ]
I... um...
[ He feels so underdressed. Should he do something? He searches for anything to say, but neither his mouth nor brain want to work.
Say something, say something! ('Why are you dressed this good for this? Is this a practice date you're trying on me?')
He swallows against a drying throat, and forcing the thought thing to come out-- ]
Y-your make-up's...different!
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gift, post aquafir
congratulations, here's your plush otter, wearing a tiny shirt with an Aquafir logo on it. )
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Did someone drop their toy...? That's what Tidus thinks, until he spots the piece of paper with it, picking both up and giving the paper a read, wondering first if it might have something to do with one of the kids, until-
... ]
...is this a joke...?
[ That is to say: what is this
Congratulations, Wei Wuxian, for confusing Tidus as always. He'll bring the otter inside the room and give it a home on the end of the bed, BUT HE'S STILL NOT SURE THIS ISN'T A JOKE...!! ]
once they're back on the train after aquafir; hang on jingyi is joining in too
Or what Inigo thinks is a great idea, anyway. A true effort of collaboration between him and Jingyi over here, and he actually does seem genuinely excited to present this gift to Tidus - or at least, he thinks Tidus would be able to appreciate it moreso than anyone.
So the moment they're back on the train, Inigo is already (metaphorically) dragging Jingyi over to find the other guy. While making Jingyi hold the mystery box.
Sorry, bro, apparently those of us with dragon strength need to carry it. ]
Tidus, Tidus!
[ Look who's sounding like an excited toddler today, waving his arms. ]
Tidus, we got you a gift!
slams in gently
But in a good way? Probably. Who knows. He holds up the box, as if indicating, here, Tidus, here's the gift, this box that doesn't tell you a thing. )
A timely one, I'd say. Right, Inigo?
( This guy's walking with his tail doing the cat curling one side to the other in question marks of supreme self-satisfaction. )
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during the first night of the festival
It's just.. he wasn't sure if any of his friends would want to do this. It might be too heavy for them, even though he knows that each and every single one of them has suffered loss in some way, would have something to think of at a moment like this.
But who says that they'd want to think about it? To Inigo it's practically unthinkable to not honour both his father and his mother at a moment like this, no matter how awkward his relationship with his father is - was - or how much it hurts to think of his mother. He knows that he had to go.. but he didn't want to burden anyone else with the thought of having to be witness to such a heavy moment.
So when Inigo spots Tidus in the crowd, he's a little surprised to see the other. Out of all people he imagined might voluntarily go by himself, the other guy certainly wasn't at the top of his list.
.. and yet.. here is he. Inigo is close enough by the time Tidus speaks to even hear what the other is saying.
It leaves him awkwardly standing there for a moment. Does he speak up? Does he not? Would it be interrupting something too private?
Inigo frowns, still not sure of his decision, even as he's making it. Even as he's already speaking up. ]
.. Tidus. [ His voice is soft, but still audible over the crowd around them, considering most people are kind of quiet during this part.
Inigo isn't sure what else to say though, other than the other's name, quietly said like that. ]
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He doesn't know who speaks it, if he imagines it, until he turns his head and sees Inigo, a small 'oh' coming with the rise of his eyebrows. ]
'Sup. You come to light some candles? You're supposed to put the long ones at the shrine, but- I didn't want to.
[ Casually, he speaks, because why wouldn't he? Everyone's talking, encouraged to talk, and he's joining in, in a way he isn't sure what to do, but he sure knows how to use his mouth.
So, here he is. ]
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poi 10 (during mission), cw: (near) panic attack
It's the realisation Inigo never wants to have, and yet he can't stop it anymore. After already having felt crappy on the train, and then going into this mission and just running for days on nothing but fumes and sheer determination, it feels like he has completely drained himself at this point.
It all started this morning. First there was the realisation that something felt different from the few days before, like something was lifted off his shoulders - except instead of a burden being lifted, it was a boon. A presence that felt like it was there with him through the days he just tried to work his ass off and keep his emotions in check is now gone, leaving behind a hollow void that only makes the emotions more intense than they were before the presence helped him out.
And then there was the realisation that some of the distortions had changed, that one of them now lead to a hellscape not unlike the one he and his friends fled from back home. A world they had been determined to never let come to pass. Sure, Inigo tried to do the usual things. Inform everyone. Try to stay on top of it. Try to give advice, try to help out.
But the longer he lingers in that distortion, the harder it gets to not see Ylisse all around him. To not feel the same overwhelming sense of dread and despair. It's like the distortion in front of his eyes and his traumatic memories start to blend together more and more, until it's unbearable, until it feels like he can no longer breathe, until, until--
Until he flees the distortion. He sinks on his knees right outside it, unable to think of anything.
Instead Inigo just sinks to his knees. It feels like he's having a panic attack, even though he tries to suck in deep breaths. He feels so awful. About what could be happening back home, about their current existence on the train and its instability, about this mission and the way they're erasing people, about this distortion, so much like Ylisse.
Gasping for air, he feels hot tears starting to stream down his cheeks. He can't do this anymore. He's not strong enough to just keep pushing on, and--
And he doesn't want to be alone. He knows he can't call anyone, because he doesn't want anyone to see him like this when he's supposed to keep himself strong during this mission, but his heart longs for company, for the way his friends at least get close to comforting him, to soothing his heart.
He thinks of that moment a day or two ago, when he and Tidus walked side by side, and the other had grabbed his hand for a moment, so innately understanding of Inigo's frame of mind in that situation. The way Tidus understands him so easily, the way Tidus holds him..
.. he wants it. In this moment, where he can't do anything but cry and try to keep breathing, he just wants Tidus here with him.
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In truth, it's Tidus that does. But his senses, the sensation that fills and flows out of him, the call with no voice but loud in his ears, his being - it silences everything around him, allows it no presence. A deep, despairing need and want crying out. Crying for him, pleading.
It wants to be heard - and it's Inigo. It's Inigo. Confusion turns into panic, turns into a need to respond. There's few times that he's had an event close to this one, but he doesn't care for the details more than for that need tugging at him. Wanting him. And Tidus says, thinks, chooses yes without question for what's going on.
It could be a trap, a distortion; it could be a lie, but it feels too real - and so he lets himself believe.
--And for it, Inigo sits curled in front of him. Nothing more than a back of the head and shoulders, but Tidus is lowering too, bringing his hands to rest over the frame that he can, to give immediate comfort.
"Inigo-- I-I'm here, okay? I'm here," Tidus urges, reassures, knowing nothing about what's going on, just only what he felt. "It's me, you're alright, you're not alone, alright? I'm right here."
I'm here, it's okay. It's okay. I promise.
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poi 27
But he knows that it's not the worst for him. He knows that the people who stayed back on the train - or who got to, anyway, since it's not exactly like Inigo voluntarily left - got the worst of it. They had to pull back so many people. And Inigo knows Tidus well enough to know that the other must have dragged back so many more people aside from just him, aside from the people he saw Tidus rescue. Tidus must have exhausted himself in making sure every single person would end up back on the train, rather than lost out there in the void.
So Inigo isn't surprised when he wakes up ahead of Tidus. He slowly blinks, his eyes adjusting to the sight of their room, the first time he's woken up here again in days. It feels familiar, yet a little strange all the same, leaving Inigo staring up at the ceiling for a few moments until the familiar soft breathing next to him draws his attention instead.
He turns his head, spotting the obvious there. Tidus, still asleep. His hair all messy from turning in bed in his sleep, his eyes closed, his breathing steady.
.. he really missed this. Inigo was honestly so afraid that he'd never see this again. That he'd forever be stuck in that state he was in for the last few days, having disappeared out into the void just like everyone who had left the train. He thought he wouldn't see Tidus again, wouldn't have the experience of waking up next to him anymore like this, but..
He does. Here he is, next to Tidus. Watching the other sleep.
It's tempting to wake Tidus up, but Inigo knows that the other can use every single moment of sleep he can get, considering how hard he worked. So Inigo doesn't touch or otherwise try to wake the other.
He just turns his body in bed so he's there on his side, watching the other. Just enjoying this moment that almost feels miraculous, just because he can have it once more. ]
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In reality, it doesn't take him long to fall asleep at all.
He won't remember if he dreamed. What it was that led to him waking, but there's memories, thoughts; the entry and leave from the void clinging to him as much as the rest, the calls that he heard, the misery and longing. A loneliness. A deep, crippling loneliness, the desire to have anyone close. The reminder of an empty bed beside him every morning that he woke, and he sees it then, before his eyes have truly opened. We didn't get him, we didn't get him. ]
Inigo. [ It's a cry that comes out wet, and Tidus reaches at Inigo's side of the bed, something in the way. Bedsheets, his brain figures, not realising the body that's there, the thing that he's scrambling for before his vision actually awakens and adjusts.
Whenever it is that he does see Inigo there - if Inigo stops him, grabs his hand or settles him down, Tidus locks onto him with wide, disbelieving eyes - and then the tears start to come, his lower lip trembling, a mouth he has to fight his jaw to close. ]
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