[ Why he's so apprehensive to move from his spot is a mystery even to Roland. He hasn't felt this lost in his own turbulence in quite some time, and even then he had a stronger semblance of control. That might be the worst part of this entire debacle; knowing he could have reacted to everything so much better, and being aware of it but somehow lacking in control. But what would his steely level-headedness accomplish when his mind is reeling with guilt - guilt that made sense.
Who's been leaving hints for the ministry to find? Who has been potentially leading them all to their permanent deaths? If the train was tracked and attacked...The gold dust, the fading of a body that he could not save, and now here they are, two reminders that if he fails a second time, then perhaps he deserves to be erased from existence.
Roland takes more deep breaths. Counts to five after every inhale, before he lets out a steady stream of warm air, out of his nose, repeating the cycle. His hand, dried with blood that might not even be his, rubs at the bridge of his nose. ]
...Captain Halo. [ He swallows thickly. ] Captain Halo of the Voidflash. [ Roland drops his hand away from his face looking at Inigo and Tidus with an earnest expression, almost beggingly so... ] The world miners who've infiltrated the planet attacked her as she gave them chase, and she crashed at the landing site where the five of us came from.
[ A decisive shake of his head. His voice drops low. ] She died of her injuries, but was able to warn us ahead of time. That's not what I - what I mean to say is...She just...
[ He can't. He can't say a thing. His tongue won't work, his mind is jammed, and all he can remember is the fading, the truth, the light. It's not her death per se that takes ahold of Roland's better sensibilities, though he is saddened at the loss of life. No, it's what she reveals that's thrown him completely off his game. I don't know what happens now.
All five of them bear witness to it, long enough to fill in the details. Without the voidcraft, you die. All of them. He takes one final steadying breath before attempting to look as he once did before the two of them find him in the clearing: brows furrowed and his mouth in a grim, straight line. Hard gaze that meets worried ones, but he doesn't know how to accept his own mistakes. Not yet. So Roland bargains as he's never done before. ]
Give me time. I promise, I'll tell you both everything. More than the world miners, Captain Halo she...she told us things that I need to think about. I need to understand for myself. [ 'No, no you understand plenty, don't you Roland?' ]
[ And while it looked like for that brief moment, Roland is at last ready to move back in with the two standing before him, ready to return to camp and prepare for the coming attack...He can't help but allow himself to take it all in. Their faces, the shape of their form and the builds of their bodies. Afraid of such a time that he'll have to watch them - ]
[ He pushes himself carefully away from the tree, slow and steady. ]
I'm just happy to see you two okay. [ Alive. Alive. ]
[ For a moment Inigo is terrified that Tidus will shrug his hand off, but even though the other doesn't react positively to it either, the lack of a reaction by itself feels like enough for now. Because Inigo just doesn't know what he'd do without this, without at least something to hold on to when everything feels so uncertain. When the tears keep coming, and it feels like his heart is trying to pound its way out of his chest with adrenaline.
And then - also thankfully - Roland begins to speak. About someone else - also traveling through the void? - who met the threat that's currently in this world with them. About watching someone die. Which is awful, but.. Inigo already thinks it can't be the full reason behind the way Roland is looking right now. Inigo has never seen Roland look that scared over any regular danger, not during any mission.
There's more. Confirmed by Roland himself as he speaks on. ]
.. okay. [ But Inigo just gives in, grants him that permission for extra time. Even if there's more, it's obvious that Roland is in no shape to talk about it yet, so Inigo won't force the man to say more than this. At least this way he's not burying everything.
Even though he himself is still sniffing, trying to wipe off his tears on his sleeve. Dumb. He shouldn't be crying at a moment like this, when things are truly dangerous for all of them. ]
Tidus-- Tidus is right.
[ Inigo slowly releases his hold on the other's hand. ]
We should get going to a safer place. And stick together.
[ It's an explanation, one that Tidus wasn't expecting. Not now, not right here; allowing Roland to speak later, but his mouth and thoughts taking their own control of him. An explanation he can't finish, further displaying a man neither have bear witnessed to before. Tidus hasn't -- and he can only assume that whatever's shaken him is more than just the lost of a life. Something more, about the void or -- them.
The hand drops out of his, and he looks Inigo's way, but doesn't think about it. Too strung, too exhausted. He nods, a hand clasping when he thinks about using a barrier spell just in case--
but he stops before more than the flicker of a pyrefly can be seen begin to take form, lowers the fist, unfurling, stepping away. ]
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blitzcheer) wrote2020-04-28 11:07 am
no subject
[ Why he's so apprehensive to move from his spot is a mystery even to Roland. He hasn't felt this lost in his own turbulence in quite some time, and even then he had a stronger semblance of control. That might be the worst part of this entire debacle; knowing he could have reacted to everything so much better, and being aware of it but somehow lacking in control. But what would his steely level-headedness accomplish when his mind is reeling with guilt - guilt that made sense.
Who's been leaving hints for the ministry to find? Who has been potentially leading them all to their permanent deaths? If the train was tracked and attacked...The gold dust, the fading of a body that he could not save, and now here they are, two reminders that if he fails a second time, then perhaps he deserves to be erased from existence.
Roland takes more deep breaths. Counts to five after every inhale, before he lets out a steady stream of warm air, out of his nose, repeating the cycle. His hand, dried with blood that might not even be his, rubs at the bridge of his nose. ]
...Captain Halo. [ He swallows thickly. ] Captain Halo of the Voidflash. [ Roland drops his hand away from his face looking at Inigo and Tidus with an earnest expression, almost beggingly so... ] The world miners who've infiltrated the planet attacked her as she gave them chase, and she crashed at the landing site where the five of us came from.
[ A decisive shake of his head. His voice drops low. ] She died of her injuries, but was able to warn us ahead of time. That's not what I - what I mean to say is...She just...
[ He can't. He can't say a thing. His tongue won't work, his mind is jammed, and all he can remember is the fading, the truth, the light. It's not her death per se that takes ahold of Roland's better sensibilities, though he is saddened at the loss of life. No, it's what she reveals that's thrown him completely off his game. I don't know what happens now.
All five of them bear witness to it, long enough to fill in the details. Without the voidcraft, you die. All of them. He takes one final steadying breath before attempting to look as he once did before the two of them find him in the clearing: brows furrowed and his mouth in a grim, straight line. Hard gaze that meets worried ones, but he doesn't know how to accept his own mistakes. Not yet. So Roland bargains as he's never done before. ]
Give me time. I promise, I'll tell you both everything. More than the world miners, Captain Halo she...she told us things that I need to think about. I need to understand for myself. [ 'No, no you understand plenty, don't you Roland?' ]
[ And while it looked like for that brief moment, Roland is at last ready to move back in with the two standing before him, ready to return to camp and prepare for the coming attack...He can't help but allow himself to take it all in. Their faces, the shape of their form and the builds of their bodies. Afraid of such a time that he'll have to watch them - ]
[ He pushes himself carefully away from the tree, slow and steady. ]
I'm just happy to see you two okay. [ Alive. Alive. ]
no subject
And then - also thankfully - Roland begins to speak. About someone else - also traveling through the void? - who met the threat that's currently in this world with them. About watching someone die. Which is awful, but.. Inigo already thinks it can't be the full reason behind the way Roland is looking right now. Inigo has never seen Roland look that scared over any regular danger, not during any mission.
There's more. Confirmed by Roland himself as he speaks on. ]
.. okay. [ But Inigo just gives in, grants him that permission for extra time. Even if there's more, it's obvious that Roland is in no shape to talk about it yet, so Inigo won't force the man to say more than this. At least this way he's not burying everything.
Even though he himself is still sniffing, trying to wipe off his tears on his sleeve. Dumb. He shouldn't be crying at a moment like this, when things are truly dangerous for all of them. ]
Tidus-- Tidus is right.
[ Inigo slowly releases his hold on the other's hand. ]
We should get going to a safer place. And stick together.
no subject
The hand drops out of his, and he looks Inigo's way, but doesn't think about it. Too strung, too exhausted. He nods, a hand clasping when he thinks about using a barrier spell just in case--
but he stops before more than the flicker of a pyrefly can be seen begin to take form, lowers the fist, unfurling, stepping away. ]
Right. Let's go.