".. I kind of thought that it's just what you do."
His voice feels a little foreign to his ears, just a bit raw around the edges. Perhaps it is a remnant of his breakdown from earlier, or maybe it's because his emotions feel so raw in this moment too, like everything he's feeling is just stuck in his throat, and his voice is having a hard time squeezing itself past all of that.
But he does mean it, what he's saying. He doesn't think it's something Tidus is just doing with him. Even when he's around Taiki, or Jingyi, or any of their other friends.. Tidus is someone who makes other people shine. It's just what he does. Tidus isn't like a star, shining all by himself. He's like the sun, shining his light on everyone else, and making them shine too.
Inigo is just lucky to be able to task in that light, he thinks, as he now stares into Tidus's eyes.
He has a hard time holding the gaze when he feels this overwhelmed with emotion, but he tries anyway. It's the least he can do in return for the other. Whne Tidus is out here doing things that are difficult for him as well, like throwing around the l-word like that.
"But I-- I know. That you're that great. That.."
Inigo's voice trails off, and he shakes his head, still looking at the other.
"I was already worried, going into that mission. About everything back home, about our situation on the train.. and then this place-- it's like Ylisse. In so many ways."
The time and space travel inside of the distortions. The ruined wasteland. The undead warriors. It was just all a little bit too close for comfort.
"And in there, it felt.. it felt like back home, when I'd be fighting the Risen, and sometimes you'd be surrounded by so many of them that you wouldn't even have a clue anymore whether everyone else was still standing, if you weren't the only person left in a world full of those things." His voice shakes as he recalls it. It's been so long now since he's been in that wasteland - over a year on the train, and a few months of traveling to the past back home - but he can still recall it so clearly. Maybe because he's done it for years. Maybe because that felt so particularly traumatic, the idea of being all alone.
He sucks in a shakey breath.
".. I should've known though. That you're always with me." That he's never fully alone. "Just-- Just like you're saying now."
"You had to fight a lot." A truth, an acknowledgement; a sadness in the way he speaks it, but no less real - no less facing Inigo's truth. His gaze keeps on him back as Inigo did speaking to him, revealing himself; what he's had to carry not only in his heart but his being, the reality he lived with for years. For too long.
"You didn't have a choice, you had to be out there. And everything - everything just happens so much; even when nothing does, we just feel powerless. There's never anything we seem we can do." His gaze does drop here, briefly; how it's been true for so long. For as long as they've been on the train.
"But..." He strokes again the side of Inigo's hair, a small smile tugging on his face. Not lingering, but there for a second. "We're not there - in Ylisse. You have help - we all have help. We don't need to struggle that badly just to make it out on the other side. We don't need to scar ourselves like that. And we're not less for it - none of us are."
None of them should be made to feel that way. And if he can help encourage Inigo, at least in this moment:
"The Ministry are here. They said it's fine if we don't do this mission, so take it - at least for today. Just think about you. ...For me?"
It's always been hard for Inigo to accept those words. Maybe exactly because of what Tidus is saying here - that Inigo always had to fight, and that back home there never was anyone else to do it. That their faint numbers were already way too little to fight all of the hurt in the world, to try and save a dying world that was slowly slipping away between their fingers.
It makes it hard to believe those words now. That it really is alright, that there are other people who can take care of things. That everything will be okay, even if Inigo sits back for a moment. Even if he isn't putting himself through the wringer just to do as much as he can. Inigo couldn't believe the words when coming from the Ministry, still pushing himself, but..
.. it's a lot harder to discard those words now. When they're coming from Tidus, and his pleading puppy eyes.
"Okay."
For you, he thinks. Because Inigo is awful at accepting anything for himself, but he'll tell himself that he will do this for Tidus's sake, so the other won't have to worry about him as much.
"We can shower first. And then maybe, um. Nap?"
It feels indulgent, especially since napping surely will take longer than taking a shower. But if Inigo tries to put himself past the guilt of standing by, then he knows what he truly wants to do deep down in his heart is to just curl up with Tidus on a bed and pretend like there's nothing else in the world for a little bit. To just fill his entire world up to be only Tidus for a while, and to have that be okay.
Tidus dares to smile when he hears Inigo concede, dropping his hand from his head to his shoulder.
"Sure," he agrees. Shower, and a nap. "We'll lay around in bed - and we can listen to some music if we can't fall asleep."
There's a knowing tease in the suggestion, of whenever Tidus shares his taste of music with Inigo, and the resulting impression always being a grimacing expression of why. But if they fall asleep for a while, get to live in the fantasy of nothing else existing - then that works too.
Tidus drops his hands down from shoulders to arms, willing to take a step back, but still near enough for their hands to linger.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
blitzcheer) wrote2020-04-28 11:07 am
no subject
His voice feels a little foreign to his ears, just a bit raw around the edges. Perhaps it is a remnant of his breakdown from earlier, or maybe it's because his emotions feel so raw in this moment too, like everything he's feeling is just stuck in his throat, and his voice is having a hard time squeezing itself past all of that.
But he does mean it, what he's saying. He doesn't think it's something Tidus is just doing with him. Even when he's around Taiki, or Jingyi, or any of their other friends.. Tidus is someone who makes other people shine. It's just what he does. Tidus isn't like a star, shining all by himself. He's like the sun, shining his light on everyone else, and making them shine too.
Inigo is just lucky to be able to task in that light, he thinks, as he now stares into Tidus's eyes.
He has a hard time holding the gaze when he feels this overwhelmed with emotion, but he tries anyway. It's the least he can do in return for the other. Whne Tidus is out here doing things that are difficult for him as well, like throwing around the l-word like that.
"But I-- I know. That you're that great. That.."
Inigo's voice trails off, and he shakes his head, still looking at the other.
"I was already worried, going into that mission. About everything back home, about our situation on the train.. and then this place-- it's like Ylisse. In so many ways."
The time and space travel inside of the distortions. The ruined wasteland. The undead warriors. It was just all a little bit too close for comfort.
"And in there, it felt.. it felt like back home, when I'd be fighting the Risen, and sometimes you'd be surrounded by so many of them that you wouldn't even have a clue anymore whether everyone else was still standing, if you weren't the only person left in a world full of those things." His voice shakes as he recalls it. It's been so long now since he's been in that wasteland - over a year on the train, and a few months of traveling to the past back home - but he can still recall it so clearly. Maybe because he's done it for years. Maybe because that felt so particularly traumatic, the idea of being all alone.
He sucks in a shakey breath.
".. I should've known though. That you're always with me." That he's never fully alone. "Just-- Just like you're saying now."
no subject
"You didn't have a choice, you had to be out there. And everything - everything just happens so much; even when nothing does, we just feel powerless. There's never anything we seem we can do." His gaze does drop here, briefly; how it's been true for so long. For as long as they've been on the train.
"But..." He strokes again the side of Inigo's hair, a small smile tugging on his face. Not lingering, but there for a second. "We're not there - in Ylisse. You have help - we all have help. We don't need to struggle that badly just to make it out on the other side. We don't need to scar ourselves like that. And we're not less for it - none of us are."
None of them should be made to feel that way. And if he can help encourage Inigo, at least in this moment:
"The Ministry are here. They said it's fine if we don't do this mission, so take it - at least for today. Just think about you. ...For me?"
As a treat?
no subject
It makes it hard to believe those words now. That it really is alright, that there are other people who can take care of things. That everything will be okay, even if Inigo sits back for a moment. Even if he isn't putting himself through the wringer just to do as much as he can. Inigo couldn't believe the words when coming from the Ministry, still pushing himself, but..
.. it's a lot harder to discard those words now. When they're coming from Tidus, and his pleading puppy eyes.
"Okay."
For you, he thinks. Because Inigo is awful at accepting anything for himself, but he'll tell himself that he will do this for Tidus's sake, so the other won't have to worry about him as much.
"We can shower first. And then maybe, um. Nap?"
It feels indulgent, especially since napping surely will take longer than taking a shower. But if Inigo tries to put himself past the guilt of standing by, then he knows what he truly wants to do deep down in his heart is to just curl up with Tidus on a bed and pretend like there's nothing else in the world for a little bit. To just fill his entire world up to be only Tidus for a while, and to have that be okay.
no subject
"Sure," he agrees. Shower, and a nap. "We'll lay around in bed - and we can listen to some music if we can't fall asleep."
There's a knowing tease in the suggestion, of whenever Tidus shares his taste of music with Inigo, and the resulting impression always being a grimacing expression of why. But if they fall asleep for a while, get to live in the fantasy of nothing else existing - then that works too.
Tidus drops his hands down from shoulders to arms, willing to take a step back, but still near enough for their hands to linger.
"Sounds like a plan to me."