At least he didn't pick bad with Sizhui, and maybe Ryo was just thrown in there 'cause he could, but the reaction gets the smallest tug of a smile out of Tidus. Sorry bro, he can't help it. Tidus rests his cheek on that bed of hair, dry and damp in places despite the humidity about them, the strands that tickle his nose.
'Doesn't everyone think about kissing someone sometimes..?' ]
I think about it. [ Actually - even more than kissing, with his arm already around someone now, the light tug he gives to Inigo's shoulders, as if pulling him in, ] --I think about getting to hug and be close to someone again, sometime.
[ As something? Maybe nothing more than a temporary relationship, or some mutual agreement kind of deal. A fact he's fine with - a fact he always has been, deep down.
But for whatever sincerity there is to that tone, his other arm comes out from the water, dripping as he slings it around to hug tighter the body he's got trapped. A brighter, more playfully resigned voice put on. ]
[ Under other circumstances that line may have gotten to Inigo's so easily activated insecurities. Pricking at them, making him worry.
But not today. Today he just keeps resting against Tidus, only feeling better when that other arm joins Tidus's initial arm around him. It's nice, being held. It's something Inigo has known for a long time, and for a while now hasn't shyed away from asking people for on this train. It feels even nicer here, with the hot water, the steam in the air. It makes everything feel even warmer, more comfortable. Like he's in a haze.
In good way, though. ]
Sorry that you have to make do with me. [ That atmosphere is exactly what keeps anything genuinely self-depreciating from slipping into those words. It keeps it just a light joke, a breath that almost sounds like a laugh following it as Inigo snuggles moves a little more into the hold.
The breath melts into a pause, words forming on Inigo's lips that are met with a moment of hesitation before they start to spill out. ]
.. what if you had the chance? To.. To be close to someone again. Even if it'd just be for a few moments.
[ Hugging is nice. The touch, the physical side of it; feeling your arms full with another body, holding them close. He should be like Inigo about this, without shame. It's a thought that keep Tidus's arms where they are longer than they might have otherwise.
He did just say about making do with Inigo, didn't he? Though those words that follow from the other guy put Tidus on alert for the potential self-doubt in those words (if not tone), escaping him before he can nudge or remind Inigo with a unyielding protest.
He'll come for you another time, possible self-doubt!!
For now, it's easy to let his eyes drift closed, the warmth a blanket about them. Listening to Inigo, his question curious. ]
Just a few moments? ...a few moments isn't fun. [ Well... ] Would it be with someone that I like?
[ Is he overthinking this. These things are important! ]
But Inigo doesn't fully mind, even though he may have had a bit more of a concrete destination in mind when he said those words a few moments ago.
It's hard to mind anything here while he's surrounded by warmth and arms, really. ]
Well. [ He instead just says, clearly woefully unprepared for this question in return. ] Sure. I mean.. It'd be a little weird to do that with someone you dislike, right?
[ Even if maybe it's not the kind of 'like' Tidus meant. ]
[ It's a doubtful non-answer. He knows what Inigo means, and he knows what he means, but if there's an explanation necessary or worth it is a thought easily put aside, so - actually, probably not. Instead, Tidus thinks on Inigo's question, his sincere answer.
What if you had the chance?
It keeps him quiet for a good moment, until- ]
...I would. [ He's had Inigo be honest with him plenty, so he can't really back out - not after the things he's teased Inigo over. He brought it up with him once before, didn't he? Back late at night that time, when the Soldat guy showed up... ]
Long as it's with a friend or someone I trusted. I mean - we don't have to be super close, but just anyone... mmmm, nah, [ he voices on a hesitant note.
Shy, if you squint.
Tidus adjusts his arms, as if there's a way to get re-comfortable. ]
Not that there aren't still some nerves. Some worries. What if Tidus meant absolutely any friend but him? What if he was only talking about girls?
He could screw up everything here.
But he could also miss a perfect chance.
Inigo doesn't move out of the hold, but he moves his head back just far enough that he actually looks at Tidus as he says it. It feels more instinctive to hide, but he knows he can't - not when he's saying this. ]
What if I was asking? [ He tries to keep his voice steady as he says it. And he mostly manages. The first four words go perfectly, but it's midway through that 'asking' that his voice cracks a little from sheer nerves.
Then again, it's not the worst his nerves could possibly be. Because then it'd be like all other times - then he would never have been this bold in the first place.
But today, it's like there's something pushing him to at least try. Or maybe it's more that there's a bit less holding him back than usually. ]
Tidus isn't expecting a real answer. There was a joke in asking, his own mind wondering about the people he might've if they were interested, would have if the timing was right, but figuring the subject one of those that all lonely people think about. The one about not being alone, having someone to hold or be intimate with; a mutual comfort from time to time.
So he isn't bothered by the wait, being more troubled by the that pulls away from under his resting cheek. But then, when Inigo does reply and ask--
What if I was asking?
--Tidus looks back at the face, the eyes waiting and watching on his. Confusion and shock meeting him, only turning more puzzled, more questioning as it registers. His lips moving without asking what they want to; the hold of his arms loosening as he becomes more attentive to this subject between them than the physical, but not pulling away.
Are you serious?
For real?
You mean--
Really?
But the struggling gaze under his answers him, and the beating of his heart quickens with the realisation. Fingers press into the bare skin of Inigo's shoulder. If this wasn't a heat pool they were in, the fever to his face would be noticeable, surely. Tidus feels the rush himself, like tingles and pinpricks to his skin.
What if I was asking?
What if he was asking?
The request for permission sits on Tidus's lips, another dying thought; when all he needs is to look at Inigo's, and--
What if he did ask?
It's easier to lean in and let his lips brush tentatively against his, to see that Inigo won't draw back. That he doesn't draw back himself, regret the decision.
[ The moments where Tidus stare at him stretch out into an eternity. And as the gaze lasts, every single alarm bell inside of Inigo's mind is going off. Telling him that it's a dumb idea that he actually said. That Tidus is going to get out of the water and walk away. That he's going to tell Inigo this is ridiculous.
His heart beats so quickly in his chest, with anticipation and nerves and near-terror. Inigo briefly contemplates just leaving this situation himself. Just get up and leave before Tidus has the chance to, before Inigo has to endure the pain of watching that happen.
But Tidus doesn't walk away. Tidus leans in, lips pressing against Inigo's own.
He can feel his blood racing through his body, feel it in his ears as his heart goes faster and faster. The steam of the bath is making it almost impossible to breathe, or maybe that's his own feelings going haywire as his mind reconfirms over and over that yes, yes, that is Tidus kissing him.
Inigo gasps a little into the kiss, just so caught off guard by this proceeding in not a single way he actually anticipated, but then he moves his arms. They feel weirdly heavy, like he's in a daze, but he manages to wrap them around the back of Tidus's shoulders.
So he can press his whole body a little closer, making it easier for him to sink deeper into the kiss as well.
This is happening.
Tidus is kissing him.
It's really happening.
It's really happening, and Tidus's kiss is everything he imagined. Or those are just his rose-colored glasses talking, completely taking over. ]
[ It's been a while, hasn't it. The act of kissing familiar, but the lips he does not. Would he know what familiar was, if he were to have the chance now? But Tidus isn't thinking about another, about anyone else. Inigo draws in, and Tidus meets him with a tilt of his head, a kiss that's becoming bolder by the second. The question returns of what just Inigo is fine with, before he tosses it a second time, his mouth opening a fraction to let his tongue the tip of his tongue flick at Inigo's upper lip, trapping it to gently tug and release. Returning without pause, resuming without hesitation.
This is fine, isn't it? The chest pressed against his firmer than he's used to, but he doesn't mind. He takes his hand not around Inigo's shoulders and slides it up from collar, to neck; fingertips meeting the wet strands of hair that guide him to stroke along the lower jaw he finds, tangling close to the roots.
Maybe he should stop, keep this short. But Tidus doesn't consider it, doesn't think. He just wants to sink into this kiss for as long as he can get away with, take what he can get. ]
[ Of course Inigo doesn't mind it. Any of it. Tidus could do pretty much anything to him right now, and he would be absolutely fine with it.
After all, this is exactly the sort of thing he imagined so often before, but thought he'd never have. The arms still around Tidus's shoulders, the thumbs on his hands starting to move against said shoulders with slow, circling motions, showing that he's very much still into this.
Then again, it's not like he's really having this. He's just having it for the moment. Inigo knows. It's just like Tidus said - it's a temporary moment, just because Tidus misses this. Because Inigo misses this. It doesn't mean that Inigo's feelings are reflected in Tidus's heart, or ever will be. And maybe Inigo is going to majorly regret this due to that fact later.
But he's not thinking about later. Not as long as he has this moment. Maybe he can just stretch this moment out into forever. Inigo isn't even thinking about whether anyone could just walk into the carriage at any moment now and see this, that's how caught up in it he is. All of his usual worries are gone.
Instead there's just this.
Instead Inigo opens his mouth a little, his lips spreading in the kiss, a silent invitation. Not wanting to be the one to push this a little further first, just in case it'd chase Tidus off, but leaving it up to the other to proceed if he wants. It's okay. ]
[ It's not an invitation Tidus misses, tongue already darting across lips, the tiny kisses he leaves with it. He only pauses for the tongue that might dip out in search for his, before being the one to sink in. Tasting warmth, the brush of one tongue across another sending shivers through him that threaten to make him gasp.
The pads of his fingers on Inigo's shoulder press against skin, like a grip to reassure him that this is real, this is reality. But it doesn't stay, travelling downward, slipping along the shape of Inigo's figure, muscle and skin all the way to his hip. Water tries to to push him back, but he ignores it, only stopping as the tell-tale rim of shorts knock his finger.
He bumps himself to the body already against him, smoothing himself for in for an inch he isn't going to find, but unable to resist, unwilling to believe that they can't meld closer into one. But there's a peace, even in that desire. A comfort wanted and found, his heart a nervous thing in his chest that continues to seek for more. The quietest voice telling him he should stop, say something, a nagging that he can't quite dispel, or that makes Tidus drag this out more and more. That if he stops, pulls back, shows any signs of stopping, Inigo won't want to pick back up where they left off.
--is it that? Or just the simple fact he doesn't want to.
But he does, in time. Not rushed, not hurried, pulling back and leaving tiny kisses, taking everything he can get. Lips and mouth parting, but still even then, going back for one last held kiss. Then, finally, his forehead tipping to Inigo's, his hand at the side of his jaw drawing back to brush at his cheek.
No words come. He only looks at Inigo, captivated, wondering now - was there anything to say?
If Inigo agrees with silence that there's nothing, then he'll angle himself, kiss the side of his friend's mouth and start a slow trail to lead him down by his kiss, skip halfway down his neck. ]
[ What would there even be to say in a moment like this? It only feels like any word might break what's going on here, as if the two of them are under a spell that will end the moment one of them utters a single word.
And Inigo doesn't want it to end. Not so soon, not when he's realising how much he loves the touch of Tidus's actual hands on his body. Real, this time, not just imagined by Inigo during what passes for night in this place, lying on his bunk and thinking what Tidus's touch along his skin would feel like, the fingers pressing into his flesh and muscles. How will he be able to give this up again later? (Don't think about it, don't think.)
So all that comes out of Inigo's mouth is just a small gasp when Tidus's kisses start to move away from his mouth, giving the space for the noises to actually be released to the air.
His arms move to give Tidus a bit more space to move, but also so he can move his hands up and start to dig his fingers straight into Tidus's hair. Fingers threading through locks, as if seeking for something, trying to find purchase in the middle of this dizzying feeling.
But all of it is just encouragement. Because he wants more, only more. No matter what rational thought may tell him in this moment - Inigo knows what his feelings tell him, what his body tells him. Don't stop these kisses now. Kiss him more, or tell him to kiss in return, or-- or anything. Anything at all. ]
[ Inigo gasps, breathes, and each hint of involuntary response clings to Tidus's skin, goading him better than any words could. Should he be leaving Inigo's mouth and going down like this, taking this further than just a normal makeout? But when he hears Inigo pleased, he can't help but want to give him more. I can do more, I can make you feel good.
His tongue follows licks along the thick band of muscle of the neck, his mouth sucking on where it stops; the arm around Inigo's waist angling higher as he holds him to guide him backward, letting his arm be what knocks the edge of the pool Tidus is taking him to. All so he can slip a leg between Inigo's and face him better, the hand that had been tilted in Inigo's hair returning but slipping farther in; lips wrapping around where his adam's apple is, teasing with light flicks to the skin, teasing at the space.
Does he know what he's doing? Not really. He just hopes to keep going, fumbling his way through this effort, the gentle tug at his hair encouraging, pleasant. Hand dropping from Inigo's head and landing on his chest, palm rubbing against the nipple, the muscle of the pec.
--or, is it okay It's flatter than what he's used to, and it's easy to doubt just how to control his hand. He sets it to the side, a little unsure what to do with it immediately. ]
[ It's incredibly easy to guide Inigo along. It's as if he just needs the slightest hint or nudge to move right along with Tidus right now, shuddering a little when he can feel that leg between his own. Realising that just this by itself is further than Inigo has ever gone with anyone else before - but it doesn't feel like a thought worthy of stopping all of this for.
Especially when he can feel Tidus's hand sink onto his chest, and then awkwardly move it off to the side. It brings some confusion to Inigo at first, his head much lighter than usually between all the steam and their current activity, but then he realises.
Tidus has never done this with a guy before. Or if he has, not often. This isn't what he's used to.
Show him, a voice inside of his head urges him on. He's the expert here when it comes to that, right? Even if Inigo doesn't have experience with doing this with other guys himself, he at least knows his own body well enough. He's had enough fantasies.
So while he doesn't move out of their current position, still giving Tidus full access to his neck and anywhere else the other guy wants to land his lips on, one hand slips out of Tidus's hair to move down to the other's chest as well. First landing on his shoulder, then slowly slipping down, teasing the other's nipples. ]
Like this.. [ He mumbles, though it's hardly even audible over the sound of the water, of the ambient sound still playing in the background. Were those words really said out loud?
His hand moves down further, traveling to Tidus's stomach, tracing the lines of the muscle there. ]
[ Ah. The wandering kisses to Inigo's throat stop when he feels the tease of fingers to his nipples, a breath hitching in his lungs at the sensitive treatment. Or not treatment, but simply him, what he likes. Paused in the moment where he wants to enjoy the sensation, the hand exploring his body and the spark of embarrassment that isn't quite sincere, but quickly turns so when he hears the muttered direction. Hard to miss, even as soft as it is, with his ears close to the lips that speak them. ]
Oh-- okay. [ Tidus takes the guidance like a child, placing the curve of his hand and thumb at the side and nudging, a soft massage to disturb the muscle, catching against the nipple to brush into it. He's moved his head to watch and give it focus, feeling rather clumsy, dumb; like this should be obvious, but it really isn't. Hesitant eyes moving onto Inigo's face, and it feels like the first time in a while he's really looking at him - acknowledging him proper. ]
Are you... is this okay? [ What we're doing, he means, though what this exactly is -- he couldn't say. He's lost sight of what this was meant to be from the first moan, and the way Inigo's touch to his stomach left felt lower than it was.
But for the uncertainty that's been given room to exist, he looks at Inigo's lips and finds them compelling, an urge to kiss them that he holds back on. ]
[ Maybe it was a mistake to speak up. Even if it was just two words slipping out of his mouth before he really thought about them, it still brought forth more words in the end. Tidus speaking up as well, asking him that question.
It's surprisingly considerate, but Inigo's cheeks just flush in response. Maybe because of the question, but most likely in part due to Tidus's ministrations too. ]
.. yeah. [ He finally manages to say, a near soundless agreement. More air than sound. ] I.. I want to be close to someone too.
[ Even if it goes a little beyond that for him, but Inigo can fall back on his usual habit and shove that all down. Not even think about it too much for now.
His hand is still moving across Tidus's abs, drawing idle shapes on them as he talks. ]
It feels safe with you. [ Maybe he can at least admit to that, in lieu of the full picture. ]
[ Inigo's touch tickles him without the humour. The way it sticks to you, senses high and skin alight. It's a lot, what a simple touch, and Tidus rests his head against the smooth of Inigo's shoulder, running his own hand down along the length to his waist, meeting water. ]
You can't make fun of me if I get things wrong, [ he jokes, as light as a joke can be conveyed. Head lifting again to tilt into the side of hair, rubbing gently into it. ] Guys are a lil' different from girls.
[ A lot different.
Or maybe not, not really. There's still a mouth that he can kiss, a body he can hold, and he turns his face to Inigo's, planting a kiss on his cheek. Another higher, another by his temple...
He doesn't even think about it until he's done, and he wonders, looking back at Inigo, a furrow to his brow. ]
[ The final question is immediately met with a small shake of Inigo's head. Almost too quickly, like he wants to make sure the idea leaves Tidus's mind before it can settle there in the slightest. ]
No. I like it this way..
[ Even if it's just a temporary thing. That doesn't mean he can't still enjoy it, right? Just being close with someone, soft with someone - especially when it happens to be the very specific someone he has a crush on in the first place.
Inigo completely lets go of Tidus for a moment, but it's just so he can put his hands on the other guy's cheeks and pull his mouth towards his own, pressing their lips together in a brief, relatively chaste kiss this time before pulling back. ]
I'm a bit more worried about.. erm. Making this weird, because I'm a guy.. [ And since Tidus, just like he's admitting again now, isn't used to that. ] You'll let me know if anything is too much, right?
[ It's a bit more communicating out loud than he'd like to be doing right now.
But his care and worry over Tidus take priority over that. ]
[ The kiss is soft and short; the kind that makes Tidus want to fall back into it, have it last longer. But this display of communication has broken a certain spell too, or allowed in the reality they were ignoring. His hands rest on Inigo a little more shyly now, his uncertainty having a voice outside his head. ]
Uh, well, it should be okay. Guys have the same kind of mouths. You know -- like girls? So it's not that weird anyway!
[ SMART BRAIN THINKING. And that smart brain is still going, as Tidus glances down between them, then looks back up with a unsteady gaze. ]
Unless you're talking about anything like-- you know. [ You know. Said in a lower voice. ]
[ If Inigo's face was already red before, it's now positively starting to look like a complete tomato. Just the thought of that is enough to make him feel like exploding on the spot, and he quickly shakes his head. Please, no more of this smart brain! ]
I-I just.. meant.. you know, I don't have any.. [ .. Boobs. He means boobs, okay. But saying that out loud like this feels weird! Besides, there's so many other possible worries when he thinks about it. Maybe all of this feels different with a guy than with a girl? Maybe kissing a guy is different than kissing a girl, even when mouths are the same? Who knows. ]
But as long as you like the kissing..
[ Inigo's gaze momentarily drops - but thankfully more off to the side, rather than down to Tidus's shorts - before shyly looking back at the other.
He doesn't continue the sentence, but hopefully the implication is there. If Tidus likes the kissing, then Inigo does too. ]
[ Doesn't have any...? Perhaps in reflection, it takes Tidus an embarrassingly few seconds longer than it maybe should to know what Inigo means. Speaking in the plural, and Tidus's thoughts down below, and what exactly does Inigo think girls have two of down there?
--but oh. Oh, he maybe means breasts, but more importantly is that Inigo doesn't seem too bothered by keeping it to kissing to now. He feels that lingering suggestion -- an invitation, even. At least, that's the way it rests with Tidus, with his eyes returning on Inigo's empty lips one second, moving in to kiss them by the next. A chaste kiss despite his earlier disappointment, if lingering a few seconds more.
Mouth breaking away by only inches, face kept close. Hands resting on Inigo's waist. ]
I like kissing, [ he confirms. A beat passing, and then- ]
...Do you wanna go back to our room? Might be more private.
Inigo just stares at Tidus for a moment. Only a moment, since he realises that staring for longer than that may be taken badly in a situation like this, like he doesn't really want to go back to their room. And that's not it at all, it's just--
Tidus wants to keep kissing with him. Even if they switch locations right now, he doesn't just want to stop entirely the moment they leave the spa. Even if they go to their cabin, he wants to keep kissing there for now.
It's an incredibly startling thought, and Inigo can feel his heart beating so rapidly that for a moment he wonders if he may just pass out right here and now in the water and end this in the dumbest way possible.
But he doesn't. Thank Naga. His hands move to Tidus's shoulders, landing on there, and this time he leans in for a small kiss. Like he can't really get enough either. (Like he has to confirm, once more, that this is real.) ]
Y.. Yeah. I guess it would be a lot to explain if someone suddenly did show up..
[ It was easier to dismiss the rest of the train in the heat of their kissing, but now... it's not entirely on his mind, but Tidus knows what privacy here is like. Sometimes you can grab it for moments; most of the time, you're lucky to experience it. He only figures that so many people being younger than they should has afforded them this spare time. After all, who's going to think to bring kids to a spa? Or even to hide out in one?
(Other than they did.)
So, maybe not getting caught and giving the wrong impression's the best idea here. His voice comes out a note higher, a bit giddy, a bitty elated as he moves back in the pool. ]
Okay! [ Okay! Cool! He knows how to do this, he knows how to act. At least the pool is fairly simple to move out of, though there's almost something that makes him want to stay. A dumb something that Tidus ignores, wet patches left around his feet on the tiling. ]
I could spend all day in that thing. [ He's gotta admit, the hot water's pretty nice. ] Remember the one on that island? The hot springs. Man, I could go for a vacation!
[ He's not talking simply to fill in any potential silence as he walks over to his gear. Nope, you can't prove it. ]
[ Tidus's saving grace in this situation is that Inigo is just as nervous right now, which makes him completely unable to pick up on any tone in the way Tidus talks. No, to him it just comes across as Tidus having a tight grip on the situation, even as Inigo still feels kind of weirdly fluttery in his stomach, his hands shaking a little as he moves some damp hairs out of his face as he climbs out of the pool.
.. they're still shaking a little when he grabs two of the towels and throws one over at Tidus. By Naga, this feels so weird. Not even necessarily a bad kind of weird, just.. weirdly exciting and nerve-inducing all at the same time. Like a kid on Christmas Eve. ]
I don't think-- I don't think they'll give us one again this soon. [ Even though that island feels like so long ago now. But in train terms, it's the first real vacation they've had. Not counting the winter faire, since that was only for a day, more a day out than a real vacation..
Also no, that's totally not him stuttering and stammering a bit. He's so cool. He's totally cool as he starts drying himself off enough to be able to put his clothes back on. ]
Maybe we should just come here more often. [ In the spa. Then again, usually there's more company than this, and Inigo isn't so fond of that idea.. ]
Hmm, that wouldn't be bad. How about... --after practices? Relax in a hot pool? We're getting closer to a mission. We should start doing more regular. Rol still knows how to knock me to the ground. [ Pah! Or so he starts, but then quickly turns more amused: ] Wouldn't mind seeing him try that now!
[ Tidus's saving grace is also another factor: He knows how to keep his mouth going, on and on and on. He's dried and dressed as he keeps on talking, his body temperature stuffy with the clothing, but he doesn't think about that as he heads to the door, fiddling first with the controls to shut off the sound. Good bye, nature pee noises.
He lingers by the door to wait for Inigo, likely catching his eye, and delaying in looking away. Or at least, trying to make it seem natural. Sure, he's brought up about the whole friends doing more than friends do doing thing in the past, but... it doesn't mean he's ever done it before.
Is this what they're doing now? Is this for real?
His heel taps against the ground, until they're ready to go through into the corridor, heading back to their cabin. ]
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blitzcheer) wrote2020-04-28 11:07 am
no subject
At least he didn't pick bad with Sizhui, and maybe Ryo was just thrown in there 'cause he could, but the reaction gets the smallest tug of a smile out of Tidus. Sorry bro, he can't help it. Tidus rests his cheek on that bed of hair, dry and damp in places despite the humidity about them, the strands that tickle his nose.
'Doesn't everyone think about kissing someone sometimes..?' ]
I think about it. [ Actually - even more than kissing, with his arm already around someone now, the light tug he gives to Inigo's shoulders, as if pulling him in, ] --I think about getting to hug and be close to someone again, sometime.
[ As something? Maybe nothing more than a temporary relationship, or some mutual agreement kind of deal. A fact he's fine with - a fact he always has been, deep down.
But for whatever sincerity there is to that tone, his other arm comes out from the water, dripping as he slings it around to hug tighter the body he's got trapped. A brighter, more playfully resigned voice put on. ]
I guess I'll just hug you for now-! [ Siigh! ]
no subject
But not today. Today he just keeps resting against Tidus, only feeling better when that other arm joins Tidus's initial arm around him. It's nice, being held. It's something Inigo has known for a long time, and for a while now hasn't shyed away from asking people for on this train. It feels even nicer here, with the hot water, the steam in the air. It makes everything feel even warmer, more comfortable. Like he's in a haze.
In good way, though. ]
Sorry that you have to make do with me. [ That atmosphere is exactly what keeps anything genuinely self-depreciating from slipping into those words. It keeps it just a light joke, a breath that almost sounds like a laugh following it as Inigo
snugglesmoves a little more into the hold.The breath melts into a pause, words forming on Inigo's lips that are met with a moment of hesitation before they start to spill out. ]
.. what if you had the chance? To.. To be close to someone again. Even if it'd just be for a few moments.
no subject
He did just say about making do with Inigo, didn't he? Though those words that follow from the other guy put Tidus on alert for the potential self-doubt in those words (if not tone), escaping him before he can nudge or remind Inigo with a unyielding protest.
He'll come for you another time, possible self-doubt!!
For now, it's easy to let his eyes drift closed, the warmth a blanket about them. Listening to Inigo, his question curious. ]
Just a few moments? ...a few moments isn't fun. [ Well... ] Would it be with someone that I like?
[ Is he overthinking this. These things are important! ]
no subject
But Inigo doesn't fully mind, even though he may have had a bit more of a concrete destination in mind when he said those words a few moments ago.
It's hard to mind anything here while he's surrounded by warmth and arms, really. ]
Well. [ He instead just says, clearly woefully unprepared for this question in return. ] Sure. I mean.. It'd be a little weird to do that with someone you dislike, right?
[ Even if maybe it's not the kind of 'like' Tidus meant. ]
no subject
[ It's a doubtful non-answer. He knows what Inigo means, and he knows what he means, but if there's an explanation necessary or worth it is a thought easily put aside, so - actually, probably not. Instead, Tidus thinks on Inigo's question, his sincere answer.
What if you had the chance?
It keeps him quiet for a good moment, until- ]
...I would. [ He's had Inigo be honest with him plenty, so he can't really back out - not after the things he's teased Inigo over. He brought it up with him once before, didn't he? Back late at night that time, when the Soldat guy showed up... ]
Long as it's with a friend or someone I trusted. I mean - we don't have to be super close, but just anyone... mmmm, nah, [ he voices on a hesitant note.
Shy, if you squint.
Tidus adjusts his arms, as if there's a way to get re-comfortable. ]
Why? Someone ask?
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So you're saying he's got a chance.
Not that there aren't still some nerves. Some worries. What if Tidus meant absolutely any friend but him? What if he was only talking about girls?
He could screw up everything here.
But he could also miss a perfect chance.
Inigo doesn't move out of the hold, but he moves his head back just far enough that he actually looks at Tidus as he says it. It feels more instinctive to hide, but he knows he can't - not when he's saying this. ]
What if I was asking? [ He tries to keep his voice steady as he says it. And he mostly manages. The first four words go perfectly, but it's midway through that 'asking' that his voice cracks a little from sheer nerves.
Then again, it's not the worst his nerves could possibly be. Because then it'd be like all other times - then he would never have been this bold in the first place.
But today, it's like there's something pushing him to at least try. Or maybe it's more that there's a bit less holding him back than usually. ]
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Tidus isn't expecting a real answer. There was a joke in asking, his own mind wondering about the people he might've if they were interested, would have if the timing was right, but figuring the subject one of those that all lonely people think about. The one about not being alone, having someone to hold or be intimate with; a mutual comfort from time to time.
So he isn't bothered by the wait, being more troubled by the that pulls away from under his resting cheek. But then, when Inigo does reply and ask--
What if I was asking?
--Tidus looks back at the face, the eyes waiting and watching on his. Confusion and shock meeting him, only turning more puzzled, more questioning as it registers. His lips moving without asking what they want to; the hold of his arms loosening as he becomes more attentive to this subject between them than the physical, but not pulling away.
Are you serious?
For real?
You mean--
Really?
But the struggling gaze under his answers him, and the beating of his heart quickens with the realisation. Fingers press into the bare skin of Inigo's shoulder. If this wasn't a heat pool they were in, the fever to his face would be noticeable, surely. Tidus feels the rush himself, like tingles and pinpricks to his skin.
What if I was asking?
What if he was asking?
The request for permission sits on Tidus's lips, another dying thought; when all he needs is to look at Inigo's, and--
What if he did ask?
It's easier to lean in and let his lips brush tentatively against his, to see that Inigo won't draw back. That he doesn't draw back himself, regret the decision.
But he doesn't.
Instead, he presses in closer. ]
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His heart beats so quickly in his chest, with anticipation and nerves and near-terror. Inigo briefly contemplates just leaving this situation himself. Just get up and leave before Tidus has the chance to, before Inigo has to endure the pain of watching that happen.
But Tidus doesn't walk away. Tidus leans in, lips pressing against Inigo's own.
He can feel his blood racing through his body, feel it in his ears as his heart goes faster and faster. The steam of the bath is making it almost impossible to breathe, or maybe that's his own feelings going haywire as his mind reconfirms over and over that yes, yes, that is Tidus kissing him.
Inigo gasps a little into the kiss, just so caught off guard by this proceeding in not a single way he actually anticipated, but then he moves his arms. They feel weirdly heavy, like he's in a daze, but he manages to wrap them around the back of Tidus's shoulders.
So he can press his whole body a little closer, making it easier for him to sink deeper into the kiss as well.
This is happening.
Tidus is kissing him.
It's really happening.
It's really happening, and Tidus's kiss is everything he imagined. Or those are just his rose-colored glasses talking, completely taking over. ]
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This is fine, isn't it? The chest pressed against his firmer than he's used to, but he doesn't mind. He takes his hand not around Inigo's shoulders and slides it up from collar, to neck; fingertips meeting the wet strands of hair that guide him to stroke along the lower jaw he finds, tangling close to the roots.
Maybe he should stop, keep this short. But Tidus doesn't consider it, doesn't think. He just wants to sink into this kiss for as long as he can get away with, take what he can get. ]
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After all, this is exactly the sort of thing he imagined so often before, but thought he'd never have. The arms still around Tidus's shoulders, the thumbs on his hands starting to move against said shoulders with slow, circling motions, showing that he's very much still into this.
Then again, it's not like he's really having this. He's just having it for the moment. Inigo knows. It's just like Tidus said - it's a temporary moment, just because Tidus misses this. Because Inigo misses this. It doesn't mean that Inigo's feelings are reflected in Tidus's heart, or ever will be. And maybe Inigo is going to majorly regret this due to that fact later.
But he's not thinking about later. Not as long as he has this moment. Maybe he can just stretch this moment out into forever. Inigo isn't even thinking about whether anyone could just walk into the carriage at any moment now and see this, that's how caught up in it he is. All of his usual worries are gone.
Instead there's just this.
Instead Inigo opens his mouth a little, his lips spreading in the kiss, a silent invitation. Not wanting to be the one to push this a little further first, just in case it'd chase Tidus off, but leaving it up to the other to proceed if he wants. It's okay. ]
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The pads of his fingers on Inigo's shoulder press against skin, like a grip to reassure him that this is real, this is reality. But it doesn't stay, travelling downward, slipping along the shape of Inigo's figure, muscle and skin all the way to his hip. Water tries to to push him back, but he ignores it, only stopping as the tell-tale rim of shorts knock his finger.
He bumps himself to the body already against him, smoothing himself for in for an inch he isn't going to find, but unable to resist, unwilling to believe that they can't meld closer into one. But there's a peace, even in that desire. A comfort wanted and found, his heart a nervous thing in his chest that continues to seek for more. The quietest voice telling him he should stop, say something, a nagging that he can't quite dispel, or that makes Tidus drag this out more and more. That if he stops, pulls back, shows any signs of stopping, Inigo won't want to pick back up where they left off.
--is it that? Or just the simple fact he doesn't want to.
But he does, in time. Not rushed, not hurried, pulling back and leaving tiny kisses, taking everything he can get. Lips and mouth parting, but still even then, going back for one last held kiss. Then, finally, his forehead tipping to Inigo's, his hand at the side of his jaw drawing back to brush at his cheek.
No words come. He only looks at Inigo, captivated, wondering now - was there anything to say?
If Inigo agrees with silence that there's nothing, then he'll angle himself, kiss the side of his friend's mouth and start a slow trail to lead him down by his kiss, skip halfway down his neck. ]
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And Inigo doesn't want it to end. Not so soon, not when he's realising how much he loves the touch of Tidus's actual hands on his body. Real, this time, not just imagined by Inigo during what passes for night in this place, lying on his bunk and thinking what Tidus's touch along his skin would feel like, the fingers pressing into his flesh and muscles. How will he be able to give this up again later? (Don't think about it, don't think.)
So all that comes out of Inigo's mouth is just a small gasp when Tidus's kisses start to move away from his mouth, giving the space for the noises to actually be released to the air.
His arms move to give Tidus a bit more space to move, but also so he can move his hands up and start to dig his fingers straight into Tidus's hair. Fingers threading through locks, as if seeking for something, trying to find purchase in the middle of this dizzying feeling.
But all of it is just encouragement. Because he wants more, only more. No matter what rational thought may tell him in this moment - Inigo knows what his feelings tell him, what his body tells him. Don't stop these kisses now. Kiss him more, or tell him to kiss in return, or-- or anything. Anything at all. ]
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His tongue follows licks along the thick band of muscle of the neck, his mouth sucking on where it stops; the arm around Inigo's waist angling higher as he holds him to guide him backward, letting his arm be what knocks the edge of the pool Tidus is taking him to. All so he can slip a leg between Inigo's and face him better, the hand that had been tilted in Inigo's hair returning but slipping farther in; lips wrapping around where his adam's apple is, teasing with light flicks to the skin, teasing at the space.
Does he know what he's doing? Not really. He just hopes to keep going, fumbling his way through this effort, the gentle tug at his hair encouraging, pleasant. Hand dropping from Inigo's head and landing on his chest, palm rubbing against the nipple, the muscle of the pec.
--or, is it okay It's flatter than what he's used to, and it's easy to doubt just how to control his hand. He sets it to the side, a little unsure what to do with it immediately. ]
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Especially when he can feel Tidus's hand sink onto his chest, and then awkwardly move it off to the side. It brings some confusion to Inigo at first, his head much lighter than usually between all the steam and their current activity, but then he realises.
Tidus has never done this with a guy before. Or if he has, not often. This isn't what he's used to.
Show him, a voice inside of his head urges him on. He's the expert here when it comes to that, right? Even if Inigo doesn't have experience with doing this with other guys himself, he at least knows his own body well enough. He's had enough fantasies.
So while he doesn't move out of their current position, still giving Tidus full access to his neck and anywhere else the other guy wants to land his lips on, one hand slips out of Tidus's hair to move down to the other's chest as well. First landing on his shoulder, then slowly slipping down, teasing the other's nipples. ]
Like this.. [ He mumbles, though it's hardly even audible over the sound of the water, of the ambient sound still playing in the background. Were those words really said out loud?
His hand moves down further, traveling to Tidus's stomach, tracing the lines of the muscle there. ]
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Oh-- okay. [ Tidus takes the guidance like a child, placing the curve of his hand and thumb at the side and nudging, a soft massage to disturb the muscle, catching against the nipple to brush into it. He's moved his head to watch and give it focus, feeling rather clumsy, dumb; like this should be obvious, but it really isn't. Hesitant eyes moving onto Inigo's face, and it feels like the first time in a while he's really looking at him - acknowledging him proper. ]
Are you... is this okay? [ What we're doing, he means, though what this exactly is -- he couldn't say. He's lost sight of what this was meant to be from the first moan, and the way Inigo's touch to his stomach left felt lower than it was.
But for the uncertainty that's been given room to exist, he looks at Inigo's lips and finds them compelling, an urge to kiss them that he holds back on. ]
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It's surprisingly considerate, but Inigo's cheeks just flush in response. Maybe because of the question, but most likely in part due to Tidus's ministrations too. ]
.. yeah. [ He finally manages to say, a near soundless agreement. More air than sound. ] I.. I want to be close to someone too.
[ Even if it goes a little beyond that for him, but Inigo can fall back on his usual habit and shove that all down. Not even think about it too much for now.
His hand is still moving across Tidus's abs, drawing idle shapes on them as he talks. ]
It feels safe with you. [ Maybe he can at least admit to that, in lieu of the full picture. ]
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You can't make fun of me if I get things wrong, [ he jokes, as light as a joke can be conveyed. Head lifting again to tilt into the side of hair, rubbing gently into it. ] Guys are a lil' different from girls.
[ A lot different.
Or maybe not, not really. There's still a mouth that he can kiss, a body he can hold, and he turns his face to Inigo's, planting a kiss on his cheek. Another higher, another by his temple...
He doesn't even think about it until he's done, and he wonders, looking back at Inigo, a furrow to his brow. ]
Uh-- am I being...too soft?
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No. I like it this way..
[ Even if it's just a temporary thing. That doesn't mean he can't still enjoy it, right? Just being close with someone, soft with someone - especially when it happens to be the very specific someone he has a crush on in the first place.
Inigo completely lets go of Tidus for a moment, but it's just so he can put his hands on the other guy's cheeks and pull his mouth towards his own, pressing their lips together in a brief, relatively chaste kiss this time before pulling back. ]
I'm a bit more worried about.. erm. Making this weird, because I'm a guy.. [ And since Tidus, just like he's admitting again now, isn't used to that. ] You'll let me know if anything is too much, right?
[ It's a bit more communicating out loud than he'd like to be doing right now.
But his care and worry over Tidus take priority over that. ]
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Uh, well, it should be okay. Guys have the same kind of mouths. You know -- like girls? So it's not that weird anyway!
[ SMART BRAIN THINKING. And that smart brain is still going, as Tidus glances down between them, then looks back up with a unsteady gaze. ]
Unless you're talking about anything like-- you know. [ You know. Said in a lower voice. ]
...maybe we can wait on that?
[ (still low) ]
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[ If Inigo's face was already red before, it's now positively starting to look like a complete tomato. Just the thought of that is enough to make him feel like exploding on the spot, and he quickly shakes his head. Please, no more of this smart brain! ]
I-I just.. meant.. you know, I don't have any.. [ .. Boobs. He means boobs, okay. But saying that out loud like this feels weird! Besides, there's so many other possible worries when he thinks about it. Maybe all of this feels different with a guy than with a girl? Maybe kissing a guy is different than kissing a girl, even when mouths are the same? Who knows. ]
But as long as you like the kissing..
[ Inigo's gaze momentarily drops - but thankfully more off to the side, rather than down to Tidus's shorts - before shyly looking back at the other.
He doesn't continue the sentence, but hopefully the implication is there. If Tidus likes the kissing, then Inigo does too. ]
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--but oh. Oh, he maybe means breasts, but more importantly is that Inigo doesn't seem too bothered by keeping it to kissing to now. He feels that lingering suggestion -- an invitation, even. At least, that's the way it rests with Tidus, with his eyes returning on Inigo's empty lips one second, moving in to kiss them by the next. A chaste kiss despite his earlier disappointment, if lingering a few seconds more.
Mouth breaking away by only inches, face kept close. Hands resting on Inigo's waist. ]
I like kissing, [ he confirms. A beat passing, and then- ]
...Do you wanna go back to our room? Might be more private.
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Inigo just stares at Tidus for a moment. Only a moment, since he realises that staring for longer than that may be taken badly in a situation like this, like he doesn't really want to go back to their room. And that's not it at all, it's just--
Tidus wants to keep kissing with him. Even if they switch locations right now, he doesn't just want to stop entirely the moment they leave the spa. Even if they go to their cabin, he wants to keep kissing there for now.
It's an incredibly startling thought, and Inigo can feel his heart beating so rapidly that for a moment he wonders if he may just pass out right here and now in the water and end this in the dumbest way possible.
But he doesn't. Thank Naga. His hands move to Tidus's shoulders, landing on there, and this time he leans in for a small kiss. Like he can't really get enough either. (Like he has to confirm, once more, that this is real.) ]
Y.. Yeah. I guess it would be a lot to explain if someone suddenly did show up..
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(Other than they did.)
So, maybe not getting caught and giving the wrong impression's the best idea here. His voice comes out a note higher, a bit giddy, a bitty elated as he moves back in the pool. ]
Okay! [ Okay! Cool! He knows how to do this, he knows how to act. At least the pool is fairly simple to move out of, though there's almost something that makes him want to stay. A dumb something that Tidus ignores, wet patches left around his feet on the tiling. ]
I could spend all day in that thing. [ He's gotta admit, the hot water's pretty nice. ] Remember the one on that island? The hot springs. Man, I could go for a vacation!
[ He's not talking simply to fill in any potential silence as he walks over to his gear. Nope, you can't prove it. ]
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.. they're still shaking a little when he grabs two of the towels and throws one over at Tidus. By Naga, this feels so weird. Not even necessarily a bad kind of weird, just.. weirdly exciting and nerve-inducing all at the same time. Like a kid on Christmas Eve. ]
I don't think-- I don't think they'll give us one again this soon. [ Even though that island feels like so long ago now. But in train terms, it's the first real vacation they've had. Not counting the winter faire, since that was only for a day, more a day out than a real vacation..
Also no, that's totally not him stuttering and stammering a bit. He's so cool. He's totally cool as he starts drying himself off enough to be able to put his clothes back on. ]
Maybe we should just come here more often. [ In the spa. Then again, usually there's more company than this, and Inigo isn't so fond of that idea.. ]
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[ Tidus's saving grace is also another factor: He knows how to keep his mouth going, on and on and on. He's dried and dressed as he keeps on talking, his body temperature stuffy with the clothing, but he doesn't think about that as he heads to the door, fiddling first with the controls to shut off the sound. Good bye, nature pee noises.
He lingers by the door to wait for Inigo, likely catching his eye, and delaying in looking away. Or at least, trying to make it seem natural. Sure, he's brought up about the whole friends doing more than friends do doing thing in the past, but... it doesn't mean he's ever done it before.
Is this what they're doing now? Is this for real?
His heel taps against the ground, until they're ready to go through into the corridor, heading back to their cabin. ]
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